A Thousand Years
by Laurie Whitlock
Summary: A hundred years ago they were so in love and about to get married but all of that changed when he signed up to fight in the civil war and never returned-Slightly AU
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm still not SM (damn it) all credit goes to her for creating these characters and put them into my own world. Beta by: Wolfchild, thanks cuz.

Summery: A thousand years ago they were so in love and about to get married but all of that changed when he signed up to fight in the civil war and never returned.

BPOV

So much has changed in my very long life, but the one thang that hasn't changed is my broken heart. A thousand years ago I was in love with my childhood friend, Jasper Whitlock, and my memories of how we first met and our life before he disappeared were as clear today as they were back then.

We met when we were both five. My family and I had just moved to Huston, Texas. From the moment that Jasper and I met we were inseparable. Our parents had known that we were goin' to get married when we got older and Jasper and I knew it as well. It was like it was fate or somethin'. He proposed to me on my sixteenth birthday with his great grandmother's ring. I screamed yes which caused our parents to come runnin' to see what all the commotion was about.

When they saw Jasper kneelin' in front of me, in my grandmama Marie's rose garden, with my hand in his, my mama and Mrs. Whitlock burst out cryin'. Jasper and I looked over to our families with big smiles on our faces and once Jasper finished slippin' the ring on to my finger we walked over to our families hand in hand. Everyone congratulated us and my older brother Emmett clapped Jasper on the shoulder and told him that it was about time. I blushed at that and my mama slapped Em up side the head.

Two nights after the proposal we celebrated with a big celebration dinner with our friends, neighbors and the minister of our church. Everyone was so happy for us and all the women wanted to see my ring. Once the dinner was finished mama, grandmama and Mrs. Whitlock whisked me into the parlor so that we could start to plan for my weddin'. Unbeknownst to me, my mama and grandmama had already made my dress. When they showed it to me I was in awe of its beauty. It was a white cotton eyelet lace dress with light blue ribbon trim on the ¾ length sleeves. The waist had a light blue buttoned belt and there was a lace veil. Grandmama handed me a flat box and when I opened it, it reviled a pearl and cameo choker. I was overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. I got up and went to give grandmama a big hug and I whispered thanks in her ear. She told me to think nothing of it, that every bride should have a set of pearls. Her mother had given it to her and now it was time to pass it on to me. I thanked her again and placed a kiss on her withered cheek. I sat down again and Mrs. Whitlock passed me a small wrapped package. I opened it and found a pair of wrist length lace gloves inside. She went on to tell me that they were the gloves that she had worn for her weddin' and she havin' no daughters of her own wanted to pass them on to me so that I could wear them and if I had a daughter with Jasper then I could pass them on to her on her weddin' day. I had everything covered: the somethin' new and blue was my weddin' dress, the somethin' old was the choker, the somethin' borrowed were the gloves.

Jasper and I didn't want to wait too long to get married, so we decided to get married the first week of October. I knew that we would be able to pull off the weddin'. A week before the weddin' I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. I couldn't believe that in seven short days I would be marryin' the man of my dreams. Everythin' was set. My dress had the last minutes alterations done and Jasper had his suit. I thought that everythin' would go great but I was blind-sided in the middle of the week when Jasper came to me tellin' me that he had signed up to join the war. I couldn't believe that he would do somethin' like that to me when he promised that he would always be there to protect me. I was mad at him for breakin' that promise, for lyin' to the recruitin' officers and tellin' them that he was older than seventeen and that he didn't come to me first and tell me what he wanted to do. I would have supported him if he had come and talked to me first instead of sneakin' off and doin' it. I was so mad at him that I couldn't stand to be in the same room with him at that moment so pickin up my skirt, I ran from the house and went to the place where we had first met; the pond that separated my family's land from his. I sank down onto the flat rock that was at the edge of the pond and let the tears that had been threatenin' to fall since I'd left the house, fall. I didn't know what to do. I was so lost. I must have cried for a good hour before I felt two strong arms wrap around me from behind. I didn't need to look to know who they belonged to, because they were the same arms that had held me for seven years whether it be in a playful way or a lover's way. Those arms that were wrapped around me were Jasper's arms.

The tears came again and Jasper tighten' his hold on me and let me cry. Once I was all cried out, we talked he told me his reasons for wantin' to join and I told him why I was angry with him. He agreed that it wasn't the wisest thang on his part, sneakin' off and joinin' up when he should have talked to me first. He apologized and then I asked him if we were still goin' to get married. He told me that we were, but that we would have to wait until he was on leave because he would be leavin' in a couple of days. I was saddened by that thought and I made him swear to me that he would return to me the same way that he left. He promised me that he would always come back to me because what we had was true love and that nothin' could ever stop true love. It may get delayed but it never dies and it never goes away. I nodded then kissed him with everythin' that I had. I made a vow to myself right then and there that I would make our last couple of days together the best and that I wouldn't think negatively because thinkin' of what could be or what might happen would just drive me insane. I wanted him to leave with a clear mind and no worries.

Jasper's daddy gave him a plot of land for us to start our own family on. It was in the middle of our families' proprieties. Jasper asked me if I wanted to go and take a look at it with him. I told him that I did, so he stood up and took my hand in his and helped me up. He already had his horse, Eclipse saddled up in the barn. He helped me up onto Eclipse and then he climbed up behind me and we rode off to the plot of land. It was wide and spacious. There was a little house already on it, but I could see that we would need to do a few repairs to it. There was a space set aside where I could have a garden which I was thankful for. Jasper helped me down off Eclipse and we walked into the house to see what it looked like inside. It was cozy and a little dank but I knew that I would be able to make it come to life with some new curtains, a new coat of paint and a few other bits and pieces to make it more of a home. Jasper showed me the kitchen which was a moderate size, the bathroom and the master bedroom. I loved everythin' about the house and knew that in no time it would be our home. I couldn't wait to welcome people to our new home. Jasper then led me outside and to the back of the house which was surrounded by the forest and I could hear water runnin' so I figured that there was a river not to far away.

As we were walkin' around the house, I could tell that Jasper was takin' stalk of the things that needed to be fixed and once we got back to the front of the house he turned to me and said

"What do you think Darlin'?"

"It's perfect Jasper and I can't wait to welcome people to our new home"

He smiled at that and repeated "our home". He then wrapped me in his arms and just held me. That was goin' to be one of a hundred of things that I'd miss when Jasper went off to fight - his arms and how safe, at peace and the sense of home they bring. Jasper pulled back from the hug and placed a kiss on my forehead and said

"I'll need to fix the roof first before I leave"

"Are you sayin' that you want to live in this house now?"

"Yes my Darlin' I would love to spend this time before I have to leave with you in our home and not surrounded by our family"

"I would love that Jasper"

"Great. I'll get to work on the roof then. There are only a few shingles that needs mendin' so I should have it done by tonight and then we can move in"

"While your doin' that I'll pack my things"

"Well then we best get back so that we can get started"

I nodded and after kissin' me, he helped me back up onto Eclipse and we rode back home. We went to my house first to tell my parents our plan. Mama was unsure at first but daddy told her that I was a woman and would be a married one soon, so I should be able to spend a couple of days before the weddin' with my future husband. Mama agreed and she told me that she and grandmama would help me pack. I thanked them for agreein' and for helpin'. Daddy and Emmett offered to assist Jasper in the roof repair and Jasper accepted. When they left, mama, grandmama and I went to my room. There was a flurry of activity goin' to make sure that I would have everythin' that I needed. Mama said that she had some new curtains that she had made awhile ago and that I could hang them up in my new house. Grandmama made sure that I had some preserves, pots, kettle and meat so that for the time that Jasper and I was livin' in our new home; I would be able to make dinner for us. She told me that it was a good thing I was a good cook and Jasper wouldn't have to suffer threw over cooked, burnt or under cooked meals while I learned. I just laughed at her and once everythin' in my room was packed we put everything into the wagon and then grandmama, mama and I got into the wagon and I drove over to the new house. I could see Jasper with his shirt off up on the roof swingin' a hammer, Em was up there as well measurin' the shingle sizes, my daddy sawin' the shingles into the right size and Mr. Whitlock lookin' over other things that needed to be fixed.

I must say that Jasper without a shirt on was a very sinful sight to see. You could tell that he spent his time workin' on a farm by the muscles that he had. He wasn't nearly the size of Emmett, but Jasper was well built. I pulled on the reins to get Twilight to stop her trot and daddy came over and helped us out of the wagon. When Jasper saw me, he smiled his crooked smile at me and I blushed and went about gatherin' things to take into the house. It only took a couple of trips from the wagon to the house to get all of the stuff into the house. Mama, grandmama and I then went about the house puttin' things in place. Just as the sun was settin' Jasper had the roof finished and I had dinner just about done. Mama, daddy, Mr. Whitlock and Mrs. Whitlock all agreed to have dinner in our new house with us so once Jasper had washed up we sat down at the table, gave thanks for our meal and then began to eat. While we ate we talked about what vegetables I wanted to plant in the garden come spring, buildin' a barn so that we could have some animals of our own and how we hoped that it wouldn't be a bad winter. We stayed away from the topic of Jasper leavin' soon and I was grateful for that.

Soon dinner was over and our parents back at their own houses. It was just Jasper and I in our new house. It was a pleasant change; I didn't know what to do with myself. It was surreal to be livin' with Jasper in our house. It was somethin' that I dreamt about often but now to have it be real, it boggled my mind. I went over to sit with Jasper on the couch after gettin' the dishes done and put away. He held his arm out and I moved so that I was curled into his side. He wrapped his arm around my waist and just held me. I knew that he was memorizin' every inch of me for when he went away. I could feel the tears pricklin' at the back of my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I needed to be strong for Jasper. We talked well into the early hours about things that we wanted to do to the house and about our wedding day and how beautiful it was goin' to be.

The days passed and before I knew it, it was the mornin' that I was dreadin' I would have to say goodbye to Jasper today. I looked over at Jasper to see that he was still asleep; he looked so peaceful almost like an angel, and well he was my angel. It pained me to see him with not a worry on his face knowin' that soon, he would have a haggard look oh his face from the things that he was goin' to see and the things that he was goin' to do. I still thought that he was an idiot for wantin' to go off and fight but I knew that nothin' that I would say or do would change his mind. I cried at that thought but made sure to not get to loud least I wake Jasper and he sees me cryin'. I decided to get up and make him a big breakfast so that he could have one last home cooked meal for who knows how long. I placed a kiss on his forehead and then slipped into my housecoat and made my way to the kitchen and started to cook his favorites and start to make coffee for him. I knew that it wouldn't take him long to make his way out of the bedroom once the smells of the cookin' got to him.

As I was watchin' the eggs to make sure they didn't burn, I felt Jasper's strong arms wrap around me from behind. I sigh at just the simple contact. I placed one of my hands over his and leaned back in to him so that my head was restin' on his shoulder. I wanted to stand like that forever but I knew we couldn't, I turned my head and placed a kiss on his cheek and then when back to finishin' breakfast. I asked Jasper if he had everythin' and he told me that he did. I plated the food and then we sat down to eat, talkin' minimally. I kept starin' at my engagement ring wondin' if I was to ever have a weddin' ring. Jasper placed his right hand over mine and gave me a gentle squeeze and said

"I'll be home again and then we shall get married. I will always make my way back to you, no matter how long it takes. I promise you that"

I just nodded my head to overcome with emotions to reply. When we were finished eatin' I made my way to our bedroom and got dressed, we were goin' to see his mama and daddy and my family and spend some time with them until it was time for Jasper to leave. I put on my blue calico dress that Jasper liked and I made sure that it didn't look like I was cryin', which I was silently. After pickin' up my white gloves, I made my way out of the room and in search of Jasper. I found him outside just starin' at the house. I made my way over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and looked up at him lookin' at the house. I wondered what was runnin' threw his head and as if he could feel my wonderin' he squeezed me closer to him and said

"I'm not sayin' goodbye, I'm just imaginin' what this house will look like once the war is over with a couple of children runnin' around and their beautiful mama watchin' everythin' that they are doin' to make sure they don't get into trouble while there daddy watches their mama"

I had to wipe my eyes because I could just see what he described.

_I__could__see__Jasper__sittin__' __on__the__porch__in__the__porch__swing,__me__at__the__other__end__hollorin__' __at__a__little__girl__that__looked__like__Jasper__and__a__little__boy__that__looked__like__me,__to__be__careful__and__not__go__to__far._

Jasper placed a kiss on my head and told me not to cry that it won't be long till he's home again with me and then once we're married we will start to our family. I nodded my head and then asked him if he was ready to go and visit everyone, he told me that he was and after he grabbed his duffle bag and we headed over to his parents house. The walk was a quiet one, my mind was turnin' with the what ifs. I had to stop thinkin' like this, I shook my head lightly. We reached his old house then and we went inside, my parents and Em were already there and I could tell that just by lookin' at my mama and Mrs. Whitlock that they were already cryin'. As soon as Mrs. Whitlock saw Jasper she got up out of her chair and came runnin' over to Jasper, he dropped his duffle bag just before she wrapped her arms around him and started to cry uncontrollably. I made to let go of his hand but Jasper just tighten his hold on my hand and wrapped his other arm around his mama and tried to comfort her.

Finally Mrs. Whitlock was able to gain some control over herself but the tears were still streamin' down her face and it was gettin' more and more difficult for me to keep my tears at bay. Jasper led his mama back to her chair and then we just talked while Jasper kept promisin' that he was goin' to come back again. All too soon for any of our likin' it was time for Jasper to leave. I knew that I had to stay strong more so right now because there was no way that Jasper was goin' to leave with the image of me cryin' to carry with him. We were all goin' to escort him to town where Jasper was goin' to meet up with the rest of the people that was goin'. We all climbed into Mr. Whitlock's wagon with me sittin' next to Jasper, my head on his chest. The drive was a silent one and before we knew it we were rollin' into town. Jasper told his daddy where he needed to go, and Mr. Whitlock drove over to the saloon where they were all meetin' up. I asked Jasper why the saloon and he said that it was so everyone, if they wanted, could have a last drink for who knows how long. I nodded my head because it made sense. There were a lot of families around and all the women were tryin' hard not to cry, some were not very successful.

These were all men that we grew up with. I saw my friend Elizabeth and after tellin' Jasper I would be back I went over to see her. I could tell that she was about to cry and I asked her what was wrong and she told me that he long time beau, Jackson had told her that he was goin' off to fight not twenty-four hours after he proposed to her. She also told me that she was tryin' to stay strong but it was hard. I hugged her and told her that I knew what she was goin' threw, that Jasper was also goin' off to fight and that he told me after we got engage. I showed her my ring and she showed me hers. Just then Jackson and Jasper came over to us from different directions. The men shook hand and Jackson promised me that he would take care of Jasper which I thanked him for and Jasper told the same thing to Elizabeth and she thanked him as well.

Jasper told me that it was time to go and so with a hug to both Elizabeth and Jackson I left with words of safety to Jackson and a promise to come and visit Elizabeth soon. We walked back to the family and after a round of hugs we stood and talked for a few minutes till we heard the commandin' officer shout that it was time to pull out. Jasper gave his mama and mine a kiss on the cheek and told them that he would see them soon and then he gave hugs to his daddy, mine and Em. He then pulled me aside and without a care for who was watchin' he gave me a searin' kiss and told me that he loves me forever, that he will see me again and that when he gets back we will get married. I told him the same things and then kissed him again.

The commandin' officer called out again and Jasper started to walk away with another 'I love you'. I could tell that the tears would be comin' soon but I tried to hold them off. All around me there could be hear _'__I__love__you__'__,__ '__I__'__ll__return__to__you__'__,_and _'__I__'__ll__miss__you__'__._It was gettin' harder to hold the tears back and before Jasper got too far I yelled out his name and when he stopped to look back I went runnin' to him. He dropped his bag and held out his arms for me. I ran straight into his arms and just held him as tight as I could, wishin' that we could just disappear and never be found. Jasper squeezed me and mumbled in my hair that he had to go. I nodded my head and released him as I heard the commandin' officer yell again. I stepped back from him and he placed a kiss on my lips and told me that love last forever. He then picked up his bag and went and got into the line behind Jackson.

I felt as though my heart was breakin' the farther that he was gettin' from me. Once everyone had fallen into line the commandin' officer told them to move out and the shear sadness that I was feelin' made it hard to breath and I thought that I would never breath right again till Jasper was by my side. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if to hold the pieces of my heart together but it didn't feel as if it was workin'. Jasper turned back to look at me and I saw a shot of pain flash in his eyes and I knew that it must be killin' him to see me cry. I gave him a watery smile in hopes to convey that I was goin' to be alright but I don't know if Jasper bought it or not. He did give me a smile back and then turned around.

I just stood there cryin' long after Jasper had left my sight, I felt two arms wrap around me and although they were not the arms that I wanted around me at this point I knew that they also were a sense of home for it was my daddy who had his arms around me. He told me that it was time to go and I could only nod my head because I was cryin' too hard to speak. He led me over to the wagon and then I felt Emmett's arms around me liftin' me into the wagon. Once I was settled, Mr. Whitlock started the drive home. Em wrapped his arms around me and just let me cry on his shoulder. I was glad that he hadn't enlisted as well because if he did I didn't know what I would have done with myself. I had a fear in the back of my head that Em might still go and enlist but I had to keep pushin' that thought away because I wasn't ready to let another man that I love go off to war.

We got home and all I wanted to do was be in Jasper and my house. My mama didn't think that it was a good idea but daddy told her that I needed some time alone and that he or Em would check on me in a couple of hours. Mama was still unsure but she agreed, I thanked them and then walked to our house. Once inside and the door was locked. I made my way to our bedroom, crawled onto Jasper's side where his scent still lingered and cried some more. I cried so much that I cried myself to sleep. I had a horrible dream in which Jasper's body was lying in the dirt somewhere with blood seepin' out of his head and the look of death in his eyes. I screamed so loudly that I woke myself up cryin'. I sat there on the bed and rocked back and forth whisperin' a prayer to God to look after my Jasper and make sure he comes back home to me. There was a knock on the door and I was shakin' so bad that I stumbled on my way to answer it. I had trouble openin' the door thanks to my shakes but when I did, I saw Em on the other side, one look of my face and he walked in without sayin' anythin', shut the door and picked me up and walked us over to the couch where he sat down and told me to cry all I want that my big brother was here and he wasn't goin' to let anythin' happen to me. I started to cry at his promise and Em only rocked me and told me that everythin' was goin' to be alright.

Once I had finally calmed down he asked me what had happen and I told him of the nightmare which caused some more tears to fall. He told me that, that wasn't goin' to happen because Jasper promised that he was goin' to return to me. I just nodded my head and let Em continue to hug me. My stomach had started to grumble and Em suggested that we head up to mama and daddy's house and have supper with them. I nodded again and after washin' my face we headed up to the house. We walked in and I could tell that mama had been cryin' also by the red the rimmed her eyes; Jasper was like a son to her. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her and just held her while tellin' her that Jasper was goin' to come home. We then had dinner though I didn't eat that much and retried to the livin' room where mama took out her sewin' and began to do some mendin' while we sat and talked; I mostly just listened.

It was gettin' late and I was tired so I told them that I was goin' home. That's when Em suggested that he moved out there with me and make sure that I'm alright and don't stop eatin'. I told him that it wasn't necessary but he wouldn't listen and daddy said that it was best if I wasn't left on my own for a couple of days at least. I knew that I couldn't win a fight against my daddy so I relented and Em went and packed some things to bring with him. When he came back into the livin' room, we said goodnight to mama and daddy and made our way back to my house. I wasn't in the mood for talkin' anymore so I got into my nightgown, said goodnight to Em and then crawled into bed.

A/N: So there you have it the first chapter of my new story. I hope that you all like it. *waves* Until next time, LW


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm still not SM (damn it) all credit goes to her for creating these characters and put them into my own world. Beta by: Wolfchild, thanks cuz.

Year later

BPOV

Time has a funny way of speedin' away on ya. One minute it was a week after Jasper had left and the winter was comin' and now it's been almost a year since Jasper left and his eighteen birthday was approchin'. It was somethin' I didn't want to think about because this would be the first time that we ever were separated on one of our birthdays. Ever since we'd met we always celebrated our birthdays together. I was hopin' that it would just be like any other day since he'd left, sad and lonely. We had gotten word recently that Jasper had been made Major and we were excited by that fact. Jasper was the youngest Major in the Texas Cavalry.

The day of Jasper's 18th birthday arrived and we all got the best gift we could have gotten. All of us were at the Whitlock house, because Mrs. Whitlock thought it was best that we were all together. We were sharin' stories of Jasper, though seein' as how some of the best ones included me in some way I knew them all and they weren't a surprised to hear them. My mama was half way through the story of Jasper protectin' me from a bully when he was only 7, when there was a knock on the door. We all looked at each other and mama asked Mrs. Whitlock if she was expectin' someone to come and call on her and when she said no, I was sent to the door to see who it was.

I got up from my chair and went to the door. I opened the screen door and then open the front door and what I saw left me frozen there in complete shock. Standin' in front of me lookin' oh so handsome in his uniform, was my Jasper. I thought I'd taken leave of my senses and was startin' to hallucinate because I know the war hadn't ended and I knew that Jasper wasn't the type to leave his men behind. In the back of my mind, I was yellin' at myself that he probably had gotten a furlong, but I wasn't payin' attention to what that half of my brain was sayin'. I was dumbfounded. I had been wishin' and prayin' for my Jasper and here he was, yet all I could do was stare at him. He gave me that smirk of his that I love so much and said

"Hi Darlin' aren't you gonna say anythin'?"

"Jasper" I whispered. He smiled and nodded. I flung my arms around his neck and just breathed in his scent and then I started to cry. I had been hopin' and prayin' that I could get to hold him in my arms on this day and now my wish was comin' true. Jasper wrapped his arms around me and was movin' his arm up and down my back tryin' to get me to calm down. I took a couple of deep breaths which calmed me down and I pulled back to look him over. There didn't seem to be anythin' wrong with him, for which I was glad. Without thinkin' I crashed my lips to his and moaned a little at the feel of his soft lips on mine once again. I hated to pull back but I knew that we needed to breathe and everyone was probably wonderin' what was takin' me so long. I whispered to Jasper to let me go first and tell everyone to close their eyes and once they were closed I would give him a signal to come into the room to surprise them. He agreed, so after another quick kiss I walked into the livin' room

"Who was at the door Bella?" My mama asked me

"I have a surprise for y'all, but you need to close your eyes first"

"What's goin' on?" My daddy asked next

"Please just do what I ask"

"Just humor the child Charlie" Mrs. Whitlock said

My daddy just huffed but closed his eyes none the less like the rest of them. I waved my hand in front of their faces and once I was satisfied that they really did have their eyes closed, I went back to the door and got Jasper. We walked into the livin' room and when he was in the middle I said "Alright you can all open your eyes now."

When everyone opened their eyes you could have heard a pin drop, that's how quite it was. They all just sat there starin' at Jasper open mouthed. I could see that no one was goin' to say anythin' so I said "It's really him." That seemed to snap them out of their stupor because before Jasper knew what hit him, everyone was clamourin' to get to him first. His mama was the first to reach him and all we could hear through her tears was how happy she was to have her baby boy home. After a few minutes she let go of Jasper and then everyone else went to hug him and tell him how great it was to have him home.

Finally Jasper was able to sit and of course he had me tucked into his side. Everyone asked him about what he'd been up to and he told us what life as a solider was like. I knew that he was keepin' things to himself and I guessed that he figured that it was too graphic to share all of what he saw. We asked him how long he was able to stay and he said only a couple of days. I knew that it would be hard on all of us when he did leave again and I wasn't lookin' forward to it. Jasper asked me what I'd been up to and I told him about the work that I was puttin' into the house and that the barn was built and waitin' for animals. Mrs. Whitlock told me to take Jasper back to our house and show him what had been done while he'd been gone and I agreed. As we were leavin' Mrs. Whitlock and my mama went into the kitchen to get busy cookin', Jasper and I walked hand-in-hand down to our house. It felt so great to feel his big strong hand in mine again. When we got to our house, I showed Jasper the barn first and then we went into the house where I showed him the little things that I'd been doin' since he left. He told me that everythin' looked great and he couldn't wait till we got to have more then a couple of days to enjoy each others company.

We wanted some times to ourselves for a bit so we curled up on the couch and just talked. He told me how much it pained him to see me cry the day that he left and I told him that I tried to keep the tears at bay but it was hard because my heart was walkin' away from me. He told me that he felt the same way as he was leavin' me. He felt that he would never be happy again till I was in his arms again. A few tears leaked out of my eyes upon hearin' that knowin' that we had a long way to go till that day would come. My few tears didn't escape Jasper's notice because he brought his rough and callused hand up to my cheek and brushed the tears away with the pads of his thumb. Jasper had always been able to tell what someone's emotions were even when they were tryin' to hide them. Jasper had also been able to get people to do what he wanted so he rarely had any enemies.

"What's wrong Darlin'?"

"It's just what you said about never bein' happy till I was in your arms again made me realized that we have a long way to go till you are able to be with me permanently"

"I know that it seems long now but I promise that it will go by fast and then you won't be able to get rid of me because I'll always be here with ya"

"I never want to get rid of ya Jasper"

"That's a good thing then since ya'r marryin' me"

"Yes, and I can't wait for that day"

"Would you like to do it now when I'm home?"

"Oh as much as I would love to, no"

"Why not?"

"Because you are here only for a few days and I don't know if we can get the weddin' together in such a short amount of time"

"We can try Darlin'"

"I don't want a rush weddin' Jasper, I think that we will wait till you are here permanently and there is no rush"

"Are ya sure Darlin'?"

"Yes Jasper I am"

"Alright then but just know that when I do get back here we will have that weddin' at least a week after I'm home, that should give ya enough time"

"Sounds like a plan to me"

He gave me a kiss and then we just settled into the couch again with his arm wrapped around me. No words were needed just then because we could feel the love that we had for each other flowin' through the room and each other. Jasper then asked me how I was handlin' bein' on my own and I told him that I wasn't, that Em was sleepin' here. Jasper told me that he thought it best to have someone here lest somethin' should happen at night, at least I would have a protector. He also told me that it eased his mind knowin' that Em was here. I told him not to worry about me out on the battlefield, that he only needed to worry about himself and his men but he told me that he'd always been worried about me since the day we met. That comment made my heart swell and I fell in love with Jasper all over again.

I didn't get a chance to respond because there was a knock on the door. Jasper called "come in" and in walked Em. He told us that lunch was ready and he was sent to fetch us. We thanked him and Jasper helped me off the couch and then we walked back to the Whitlock's. Along the way Jasper thanked Em for bein' here for me at nights and Em told Jasper that he wouldn't have it any other way, that if I didn't let him sleep in the house, he would sleep on the porch. I chuckled knowin' that Em would do just that no matter what I said. Jasper laughed along with me and soon Em joined in as well.

We got to the Whitlock house and saw that Mrs. Whitlock and my mama had made all of Jasper's favorites; some of them were mine as well. Jasper beamed upon seein' all the food and after helpin' me into my chair he sat down next to me. Once everyone was seated and grace had been said, we dug in. Everythin' tasted so much better then before and I knew that it was because Jasper was here with us. While we ate we talked, I told them about my decision to not go ahead with the weddin' this time around and they understood with no complaints. Once we were done eatin' we made our way outside where we enjoyed the night air. I started to get tired and after sayin' goodnight to everyone Jasper escorted me home. Once we were home we got ready for bed and then crawled in. Jasper wrapped his arm around me and I fell asleep instantly that night for I was in the arms of my love.

The next couple of days passed by as if there wasn't a threat of Jasper havin' to leave again but we all knew that day would come. Jasper and I finished workin' on the house and it was perfect. I couldn't wait till the day we could spend time in there, raise our children and grow old together while our grandchildren played at our feet. Jasper had hung a swing from the old elm tree that was about ten feet from the house so that I could sit out there to think. He also said that our children, when we finally had them and they were old enough, would enjoy it as well. He built a beautiful gazebo in the middle of the back yard. It was made out of pine, and was big enough to house the table that Em was buildin' as well as some chairs around it.

The day that Jasper had to leave dawned grey, cold and windy. Jasper tried to talk me out of comin' to see him off, but I told him there was no way in hell that I wasn't goin' to see him off because I didn't know when he would be comin' back again on another furlong or when the war would be over. He sighed and begged me with his eyes to stay home but he saw the resolve in mine to go no matter what he said. He sighed again but nodded, knowin' that I was goin'. We made sure that he had everythin' and just like the first time, we all piled into Mr. Whitlock's wagon and drove to the meetin' spot.

On the way Jasper just held me and breathed in my scent much like I was doin'. I would always associate leather, rain, and honey with Jasper. No one had a scent quite like him and I knew that no matter where I was if I smelt that combination together, I would know that Jasper was near. I vowed this time to not cry, knowin' what it did to Jasper last time. I would wait till I was gone from his sight before cryin' the tears that I knew would come once my heart was missin' again. I saw Elizabeth once we arrived and she told me that while Jackson was home they had gotten married. She apologized for not havin' me there as her bridesmaid but it was sort of a last minute thought. I told her not to worry, that once the war nonsense was over, if she and Jackson wished to have a bigger proper weddin' I would gladly be her bridesmaid. She beamed at that and when Jackson came over to talk to her and me, Elizabeth told him of my idea and he agreed to it, sayin' that he would love to be able to marry Elizabeth properly.

Jasper came over then and we told him Jackson and Elizabeth's plans. Jasper thought that was a good idea and Jackson asked him to be his best man. Jasper of course agreed. We talked for a few more minutes and then the commandin' officer called out that it was time to head out. Jackson kissed Elizabeth with so much passion and then placed a kiss on my cheek. Jasper kissed me, with just as much passion and then kissed Elizabeth on the cheek as well. Both men promised that they would watch each others backs and that they would make it back together once the war was over and marry their beautiful brides. Elizabeth and I just smiled at that and told them to be safe, that we loved them and we couldn't wait till the day we would be able to hold them in our arms without the fear of havin' to say goodbye to them again.

The commandin' officer called again and Jasper placed one final kiss on my lips and Jackson did the same to Elizabeth and then they went to line up with the rest of the young men. I wrapped my arms around Elizabeth's waist as we watched our men march off while singin' 'The Yellow Rose of Texas'. Once they were out of sight, Elizabeth and I said goodbye to each other with promises of seein' each other soon. I climbed into the wagon and we drove home again. I hugged Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock, thanked them for drivin' me in to town again to see him off which they said was no problem. I then hugged my mama and daddy and told them that I would see them later.

I walked out and went back to our house. I knew that Em was goin' to give me some time to myself and I was thankful for that. I knew that I would shed some tears but it probably wouldn't be as bad as the first time. It would always hurt though, each time we were apart. I went into our bedroom like last time and lay down on Jasper's side and just breathed in his scent. It wasn't as strong as it was on him but it was still there and a comfort to me.

A/N: So I hope that you are all enjoying this story so far. I'm workin' on the next chapter now and will have it up once it's done. I don't have a posting schedule but I can promise you one new chapter a week. Until next time *waves* LW

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	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I own nothin' that pertains to this story. All characters belong to SM; I only play in her world. Beta by: my cuz Wolfchild.

Two years later

BPOV

Three years is a long time to be without your heart and some how I was managin' it but I don't know how. I had givin' up on livin' and now I just existed, days seemed to blur together and before I knew it a month had gone by and then another and another. I paid visits to Elizabeth and volunteered at the church to try and keep my mind active but after awhile that got borin' as well. I wanted to be able to do somethin' with my time but the only thing that seemed a woman could do at that time was sewin' and makin' things for our soldiers. Mrs. Whitlock and my mama were part of a sewin' circle where the ladies met once a week at someone in the groups home and while sewin' they would talk.

There was a list of things that was needed and an item was assigned to the woman that was best at what needed to be made. I was of course expected to be present, even if I didn't want to, when the Ladies Sewin' Circle, met at Mrs. Whitlock's house or my mama's. I didn't like to be pitied or to have people feel that they needed to say encouraging words when they saw me. When Jasper left after his first and only furlong last year we had taken to writin' letters to each other. It would take awhile to reach us because of him always bein' on the move but it filled me with hope when I would receive his letters, though a little sad knowin' that he mostly wasn't in the place where he sent the letter from anymore. It had been some time since I'd last got a letter from him and part of me was afraid that somethin' had happen to him but the other half of me said that he was probably not able to send a letter, that once things calmed down, he would be able to send one.

It was spring time and I was workin' in the garden gettin' it ready to start plantin' carrots, potatoes, green beans, tomatoes, lettuce, corn and beets. Mama had told me that when the garden was ready she would come over and help me plant. Em was workin' in the barn. We had gotten some horses in the winter from a neighbourin' farm and one of the females was about to give birth any day. Seein' as this was the first birth for the horse, Em was watchin' over her to make sure that everythin' was goin' to go right. I was hummin' a song when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I got up, dusted off my skirt and turned to see who was there. The man standin' in front of me had my blood runnin' cold. He had a lot of medals and looked very official in his uniform. I tried to swallow the lump that was formin' in my throat but I wasn't very successful

"How may I help you?" I managed to get out in hardly more then a whisper

"I'm lookin' for a Ms. Isabella Swan ma'am" The man replied

"I'm Isabella" I could hear the tremble in my voice

"Ma'am, I'm Colonel John Anderson, and I have some news that I need to share with you. Is there someplace where we can go and talk?"

I knew right then and there, that what this man had to tell me wasn't goin' to be good. I nodded in response to his question and said "Please follow me" By this point Em had come out of the barn and saw that there was a strange man on our property. He came joggin' up and said

"Sister, is everythin' alright?" while eyein' Colonel Anderson

"Em, this is Colonel John Anderson and he has some news for me"

A look of dread passed over Em's face at my statement. The Colonel nodded his head in greetin' to Em and Em did the same and I asked if we should proceed. The Colonel nodded again and so I continued to walk towards the house. Once inside, I led the men to the livin' room and invited the Colonel to sit. Both Em and Colonel Anderson waited until I was seated and then they sat as well; Em next to me on the couch. There was a few minutes of silence and in that time my mind was spinin' in a hundred different directions. Finally the Colonel broke the silence.

"Ma'am, my job isn't the easiest. I have to go to families and deliver some hard news..."

I could feel my heart tighten and Em took my hand in his.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid that your fiancé Major Jasper Whitlock is presumed dead" The Colonel continued. "I have a letter here for you, from Major Whitlock. It was found amongst his things at camp."

He then reached into his inside breast pocket and pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. I took it with a tremblin' hand and looked at the front of the envelope. There in Jasper's handwritin' was my named scrawled across it. A few tears dripped on to the envelope and I reached up to brush them from my face. I flipped the envelope over and opened it and pulled out the letter that was inside. My hand was shakin' so hard. I flipped open the paper and began to read

_My Darlin' Bella,_

_If you are readin' this then that means that somethin' has happen to me which I'm truly sorry for. My only hope is that Emmett is sittin' beside you and you are not alone as you are readin' this. My Darlin' I want you to know that I have loved you since I fist met you when we were five, from that minute I knew that you would be my friend, my lover, my bride, the mother to our children and the one that I grow old with. But as it is I won't be able to make you my bride, a mother nor will I be able to grow old with you._

_My Darlin' I know that this will be hard on you but I want you to go on livin', I don't want you to withdraw into yourself and I don't want you to morn. Grieve for me because I didn't keep my promise to return but do not let the sadness of my loss overcome you. I want you to be happy in your life and if that means in the arms of another man, no matter how much it kills me to think that, then so be it._

_I want you to always remember the words that I told you, that true love never dies nor does it end or go away. If you do find love with another man, I know that I will always be your true love and nothin' can replace that. When your time is over, I'll be waitin' at heavens gates to greet you and take you into heaven where will be together forever more._

_My Darlin', I love you beyond words and I will always love you no matter what. Please tell my mama and yours that I'm sorry that I didn't return to y'all and to always be there for you. Tell Em to protect you with his life for as long as it's necessary, I never want harm to befall you._

_Now I have some words for everyone else. First off as I've said, I'm beyond sorry that I didn't make it home. To Em, you were always like a brother to me and I thank you for takin' care of my Isabella. To my mama, always know that I love you. To my daddy I'm proud to be your son and to have carried your name for my short amount of time of God's green earth. To Mr. and Mrs. Swan, thank you for bein' a second set of parents to me._

_Please all of you take care of my Darlin'. I love y'all and I'll miss y'all but I know that we will reunite one day in heaven, so until that time y'all take care. Much love and my humble thanks for everythin'_

_Jasper_

The tears were fallin' hard and fast now. I couldn't believe that my one true love was gone from this earth before his time. How was I supposed to go on without him? I felt Em takin' the letter out of my hand and I let him for I didn't want it to get ruined with my tears. He wrapped his arms around me, and placed my head on his shoulder where I cried some more. After a spell, I was able to gain some control over myself and I turned to Colonel Anderson and asked him how Jasper had gone missin' and now presumed dead. He told me that Jasper was in charge of evacuatin' the women and children from Galveston to Houston. It was late one night and Jasper had just escorted another batch to Houston and was makin' his way back to Galveston but he never made it. I asked him if he was sure that he was missin' and Colonel Anderson told me that he was sure because they found his horse and it had Jasper's hat but Jasper was no where to be found. I cried even harder upon hearin' that. The Colonel told me that he regrettably had to leave and he told me that should Jasper be found not dead that he would let me know. I thanked him but I had a feelin' that Jasper wouldn't be found alive.

With a bow to me and a handshake to Em, Colonel Anderson left. I cried as I heard the screen door slam and asked Em how I was supposed to go on without Jasper. Em told me that he didn't know but he would always be here to protect and take care of me. I thanked him through my tears and knew that we had to go and deliver the news to the others. Em kept me wrapped in his arms as we walked to my house. When mama saw my tear stained face and how Em was supportin' me, she let out a wail and asked me what was wrong. I told her to get daddy and to come with us over to the Whitlock house. She nodded and then went to fetch daddy from the fields. I sat down in a chair to await their return. It wasn't a long wait and daddy took one look at me and pain and sadness flashed in his brown eyes. He looked like he wanted to know what was wrong but I just shook my head, stood up and Em and I began to walk over to the Whitlock house. Mama and daddy followed us.

Once we got to the Whitlock house, I kept hidden behind Em till both Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock were in the sittin' room and then I told them all what Colonel Anderson told me and showed them the note as well. Mama and Mrs. Whitlock were cryin' uncontrollably which only brought me to tears again. Both daddy and Mr. Whitlock were shakin' there heads at the news and Em was still my rock holdin' me somewhat together. That night I went to bed and cried myself to sleep on Jasper's side of the bed. His scent wasn't there anymore but it brought me a comfort. I had a dream where Jasper was apologisin' for not makin' it back to me, tellin' me how much he loved me and that he wanted me to be happy. I told him that I would never be able to love another that my heart would now and forever belong to him no matter what.

A few days later we put a cross in the spot that Jasper and I had first met, with lovin' son, and husband inscribed on the cross with the date of his birth and death. We had the minister say a few words over Jasper's cross and then one by one everyone left to let me have some time with Jasper on my own. Em told me that he wouldn't be far away. I thanked him for all that he'd done and he told me that that was what big brothers were for. Once everyone was gone, I sank down onto my knees not carin' about my black dress gettin' dirty and I cried some more and asked God why he saw fit to take my Jasper from me. I made a promise over Jasper's cross that I wouldn't love another nor would I ever marry another man. I sat there for awhile longer after makin' my promise and then after placin' a kiss upon the cross and a promise to return to soon. I got up and went in search of Em.

True to his word he wasn't that far from me, but he made no mention if he heard my promise or not. We walked back to the Whitlock house where everyone was gatherin' for the wake. I didn't want to be around people but I knew that it was necessary to make an appearance. Em kept me wrapped in his arms and was never far from me through the whole wake. I was exhausted as I said goodbye to the final guest. I told mama, daddy and Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock that I was goin' to go home because I just needed some time to myself. They told me that they would bring some food over later; seein' as I hadn't eaten anythin'. I thanked them again and then Em and I went back to the house. I placed a kiss on Em's cheek and thanked him for bein' my rock and then went into the bedroom, closed the door and collapsed onto the bed.

A/N: So there you have it; I hope that you liked how I went about having Bella and everyone finding out about Jasper. Until next time *waves*


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I own nothing that pertains to the characters that SM created. I only put them in my own world. Beta by: Wolfchild, thanks cuz.

BPOV

If I thought that the days of waitin' for Jasper to come home was lonely, it was nothin' compared to these days now knowin' that he was never comin' back to me. It's been four months now since that fateful day that Jasper left me and life seemed to stop. Days blur together now. It's hard to tell when one day ends and another begins. Everyone keeps tryin' to get me up and moving, to be more active like I used to be, but I know that I never will be that person again. They even had the doc out to check on me, to see if there was somethin' wrong, but he told them that all I needed was time to process the loss and that there was nothin' he could do for me.

I spent most days either in bed or in the gazebo that Jasper built for me, in my flower garden or in our room. I had one of his favorite shirts that I refused to wash and I would keep close to me so that I could breathe in his scent from time to time even though it wasn't as strong as it used to be. Em tried to get me to do more things with him and some days I would indulge him but usually I just told him I wasn't up for it. I noticed that Em wasn't as playful as he once was and I knew that part of that was due to him worryin' about me. But I also knew it was because he lost someone he saw as a brother. Jasper and he used to do almost everythin' together, whether it be wrestlin' or goin' fishin'.

I wanted to comfort him, but I didn't know how seein' as how I was a mess myself. On one visit to see mama and daddy, as I was walkin' in the backyard, I heard, through an open window, my parent's conversation about me. Mama was concerned that I was never goin' to get better and maybe, they should send me away to live with some relatives. Daddy didn't know if that would help me but he knew that somethin' had to happen to help me. I vowed right then and there that I would pretend that I was doin' better because there was no way that I wanted to leave this area. I knew that Jasper wouldn't be comin' back to me, but this is where our lives were. No matter where one was to go on the property there was a story that had to do with Jasper and I. Whether it be our first meetin' at the pond when we were five, the apple tree where we shared our first kiss at the age of ten or six years later in Grandmama's garden when we were sixteen and he proposed to me. I couldn't leave no matter what anyone said and I would put up a fight to stay.

When I went home that night, and after sayin' goodnight to Em, I went into the bedroom but I didn't go to sleep. I sat on the edge of the bed and thought of how I would make the others believe that I was gettin' over the lost of Jasper; even though I knew I would never get over it. I knew that mama and daddy wanted Em and I to move back but I told them that I enjoyed bein' out here. I said that if they wanted, Em would move back in with them, but they told me that as long as I was goin' to live in the house, Em would be livin' with me because they didn't want anythin' to happen to me. It finally came to me - I would need to smile when I only wanted to cry, eat when I couldn't and talk more and not only when I was talked to. I knew that I needed to do it slowly or they would get suspicious as to what I was up to. Once I had it all figured out, I crawled into bed and went to sleep.

The only thing that I hated more then the loneliness was the nightmares that came every night. It was always the same. It never changed. In my dream, I was wearin' my weddin' dress and was walkin' down an aisle that was set up outside. My daddy was next to me walkin' me towards my love and all our friends and family were standin' in front of their chairs beamin' at me. I smile at everyone that I can, but my eyes only want to see one face, that of my Jasper. I look in front of me and that's when the dream turns into a nightmare. As I'm starin' at Jasper with a breath takin' smile upon his face while lookin' at me, a man sneaks up behind Jasper and shoots him in front of all of us. Jasper crumples to the ground in a heap and Em rushes towards the man but he gets away and as he gets to the edge of the forest, he turns back around and sneers at me "You'll never find true love again, for I have killed the only man that could ever or would ever love you" He then laughs evilly and takes off. I let go of my daddy and run to my Jasper. Once I get there I see that Jasper is a breaths away from dyin' but he manages to beckon me closer to him and when I lean my ear close to his mouth, Jasper tells me how much he loves me and then after usin' the last of his strength places a soft kiss on my cheek and then breaths out his last breath. I always wake up screamin'.

The first time that I screamed, Em came barrelin' into my room with a rifle in hand lookin' all around my room. Once he realized that there was no danger, he placed the gun near the door and came over and sat on the bed and then asked me what had caused me to scream like that. I didn't want to relive the nightmare but I knew that I needed to tell Em because I had a feelin' this was goin' to happen a lot. So I told him, while cryin' my eyes out. Em just held me and rocked me till I was able to calm down. He then told me that it was only a nightmare and to lie down and try to get some sleep. I didn't think that was goin' to be possible, but Em told me that he would stay with me till I was asleep. I was right in my thinkin' that it was goin' to occur more then one time but Em never came in with the gun again. He just came in, and held me as I cried and worked my way through the nightmare. My heart felt like there was a big gapin' hole in the center of it, one that would never heal till I was in heaven wrapped in Jasper's arms again.

Slowly day by day, I faked my way back to havin' everyone believe that I was gettin' better. It took awhile to get them to believe me, but they slowly started to. Everyone, except Em seemed to believe that I was gettin' better but he never said anythin'. I was good at sewin', so I was able to make some money. All the ladies were commentin' on how beautiful the dresses were that I made and I was always busy which I was thankful for because it kept Em from questionin' why I was pretendin' to be better.

A couple of weeks ago, Jackson came home. He was shot in the line of duty and was no help to his men right now, seein' as how the bullet entered his right shoulder and he wasn't able to hold his rifle. Ol' Doc. Cooper was goin' to be helpin' him get movement back in his arm. It was a couple of days after he got home that him and Elizabeth came to visit me. I was so glad that he had made it home because him and Elizabeth were such good friends of mine, Em's and of course Jasper, when he was alive. It hurt to know that Elizabeth would be gettin' her happily ever after but I didn't envy her because there was goin' to be a lot of other people that wouldn't be havin' their loved ones come home and I was glad that she wouldn't have to go through what I was.

I still remember the conversation that Jackson and I had on his visit

"_Isabella, I'm so sorry that I broke my promise to you, to make sure that Jasper got home safe to you"_

"_Oh please Jackson, don't blame yourself"_

"_But in a way it was my fault"_

"_How do you mean?"_

"_Well I was supposed to ride back to Galveston with Jasper when I got shot. I told him to have one of the other guys go with him, but he told me that he would be fine. I tried to mount my horse but the pain was just too much. Jasper told me not to worry, that he promised Elizabeth that I would make it back and he was intent on seein' that promise come true" _

"_Jackson, its not your fault. You couldn't blame yourself for bein' shot. Even if you did ride back with Jasper you would have been dead now as well. I know that you both made a promise to Elizabeth and I to come back to us safely but you can't predict when somethin' is goin' to happen"_

"_Yeah but..."_

"_There are no buts about it, just be glad that you will get to spend the rest of your life, livin' and lovin' Elizabeth"_

"_But you don't get to live and love Jasper now that he's gone"_

"_I'll always love Jasper no matter what happens and I believe that in time I will live again. I'm just happy to know right now that two of my best friends will get to be together and that Elizabeth is not goin' through what I am. Just be glad that Jasper was able to fulfill his promise, that you are here now with us all"_

"_It won't be easy, Isabella but I'll try to stop blamin' myself and remember that Jasper was able to keep his promise to one of us" _

_I gave him a hug and then we went on to talk about other things. _

It wasn't that long after we had that conversation, which they asked me again to be Elizabeth's bridesmaid at her weddin'. I agree and on Elizabeth's weddin' day she looked beautiful. My heart was heavy knowin' that I wouldn't be able to have this, but I made sure not to let it show. Elizabeth had asked me to help mend her dress and to make my bridesmaid dress and I told her that I would be honored to. The weddin' was beautiful, it was a gorgeous sunny day and the way that Elizabeth stood in the sun light, it made her look like she was glowin' and her red hair looked to be the glowin' embers of love.

After the weddin' they went on a little honeymoon and then went back to their regular lives. They made sure to still come and visit with me, and Elizabeth always came to me to get her dresses made or fixed. I was thankful for the work even though a lot of materials, food and every day things were blocked because of how close the fightin' was gettin' to us. Everyone was tryin' their hardest to make what we had last for as long as we could. So any work that I got, it was great. Of course nobody had a lot of money so we always worked out ways for them to pay me.

One day as I was workin' on some mendin' for Mrs. Cooper Em walked in. He waited till I finished sewin' the part that I was workin' on then I turned to him and said

"Hi Em, everythin' alright?"

"How about you and I go for a ride and have a picnic lunch out in the meadow"

"Sure Em that sounds great, just let me finish workin' on Mrs. Cooper's dress and then we will go"

"Sounds good to me"

So I finished workin' on the last details of the dress and then put away all of my mendin'. I changed from my work dress to a nicer dress and met Em in the livin' room. Em was sittin' on the couch with the wicker basket sat next to him. He looked up at me and said

"Ready to go?"

"Yes I am"

He stood up, grabbed the basket and then we walked out to the barn. When we got to the barn, I saw that he already had Twilight and his horse New Moon hitched up and waitin' in their stalls for us. I walked over to Twilight, and petted her, she nuzzled my hand and then after givin' her part of a carrot, Em helped me to climb up on her. Once I was settled in her saddle, Em climbed up on New Moon and then we walked out of the barn together. We started off at a leisurely pace but I knew that it wouldn't be long till Em wanted to race. I knew that it was very un-lady-like but there were times that I didn't care what was proper and what wasn't. We were about halfway to the meadow when Em came and rode next to me and asked if I wanted to race. I told him that I did, so we took off. For awhile Em was in the lead but I spurred Twilight on and before long we were takin' over the lead.

I broke through the trees that lined the meadow first and it wasn't that long after that Em came trottin' in after me. He had a pout on his face but I just laughed. He broke out in a grin and then dismounted and came to help me off as well. I took out the blanket that was in Twilight's saddle and laid it out on the grass and sat down with my skirt fanned out around me. Em grabbed the basket and set it down on the blanket, then sat down next to me. It's a wonder that any of the food was still in one piece after the race, and after setting the basket down on the blanket he sat down next to me. I opened up the basket to see what he had packed. I took everythin' out and we had a nice lunch.

We talked as we ate and Em asked me why I was pretenin' to be movin' on from Jasper's death. I knew that I couldn't lie to him so I told him everythin'. How I heard mama and daddy talkin' about sendin' me to live with some relatives, how I couldn't bear to be away from all of the memories and how I decided to fake gettin' back to normal. He told me that he understood my reasonin' and that he would continue to act as if I was gettin' better. I told him that I appreciated everythin' that he was doin' for me and he told me not to think anythin' of it, that he wouldn't have it any other way.

We then went on to talk about how my dress mendin' and makin' was goin', when we thought the war might be over and what we wanted to plant in the comin' spring. It was nice to just sit out here with Em and not have to worry about pretendin' for anyone. This meadow was found when Em and I were ten; we were out ridin' when we came across it. It was beautiful, there were trees all around it and there were flowers poppin' out of the grass all around as well. Once you broke through the trees, if someone didn't know that you were in here, they would ride or walk right past it. Em and I promised to keep it a secret and he told me that if I wanted to I could tell Jasper.

I thought about it and decided that as much as I loved Jasper and wanted to share everythin' with him, this meadow was somethin' that was just Em and mine and so I kept it that way. I had a feelin' that Jasper knew that I had a place that was just Em and mine but he didn't seem to mind nor did he question me about it. I noticed that it was slowly gettin' better to think about the good times with Jasper but the hole in my heart still seared with pain every time. I knew that was somethin' that I would have to get used to and hopefully in time the pain would get less; I had no hope of the pain ever goin' away and honestly, I didn't want it to. It was a reminder of the man I would forever love but was lost to me.

The sun was startin' to set and I knew that it was time to start headin' home. Em helped me to my feet and then we cleaned up our helped me mount Twilight and then he got on New Moon and we started back home. I knew that he wouldn't want to race as we were headin' back lest I be caught. He didn't mind when we were leavin' our property but comin' on it, he knew that any one of our neighbors could be waitin' to call on us and it wouldn't be proper for them to see me racin'. We were walkin' side by side and still talkin'. That was one of the many great things about Em, he never ran out of things that he wanted to talk about. He and I usually talked for hours on end. As we were ridin' he asked me if I thought I would ever fall in love with another man, and I told him that I didn't think that my heart would be able to handle it seein' as how I loved Jasper for so long and what his death had done to me. He just nodded his head and we were silent for some time. Soon though the silence got to be too much and Em cracked a joke which had me laughin' so hard.

We were nearin' our property when out of a clump of trees a man emerged. He seemed dirty, like he hadn't taken a bath in a couple of days. There were leaves in his dirty blond hair and his eyes were an unnatural color. They seemed to be red but I had a feelin' that it was only the sunlight makin' my eyes see things that weren't right. I knew that Em had his gun in reachin' distance, so I wasn't totally scared of this man. We stopped the horses about five feet in front of him wantin' to make sure that he wasn't goin' to try anythin' as we were ridin' past. The closer that we were to him the redder his eyes seemed. I thought that this man must be some sort of demon and I was hopin' that Em would be able to get his gun on this man quickly should this man try anythin'.

We sat there for a few minutes not sayin' anythin' just us starin' at this strange man as he was starin' back at us. Finally Em broke the silence and said

"What do you want? This is private property and you're trespassin'"

"I assure you I mean you or your Mrs. no harm" The dirty blond man said

"Then what is it that you're wantin'?" Em asked him

"I'm just a poor man that is hungry and lookin' for a meal. It's been some time since I last ate"

I felt bad for this man, not havin' eaten in awhile. There was some leftover food in the basket and I decided to ask him, if he wanted them.

"Sir, we have some leftovers in our basket from lunch, it's not much but if you are wantin' to you can have it"

Em looked over at me and I knew that he thought I was crazy for offerin' this man, who we didn't know, our food. I just shook my head slightly at Em and then went to reach for the basket. I handed it to the man who had come closer to my horse and he took it from my hand. His hand brushed mine and he was so cold. I didn't know how any body could be that cold on a nice early fall day. He looked into the basket at what was left and then looked back up at me with a smile on his face. I smiled back at him and he reached for my hand again. I wasn't sure what he wanted but decided not to be rude.

He took my hand in his and brought it up to his lips. As soon as his lips made contact with my skin I could feel a burnin' feelin' start to spread threw my body and before I knew it I was fallin' off Twilight and my world was goin' black. I was able to look over at Em to see horror on his face as he watched me fall but he couldn't do nothin' because another man that we did not see was holdin' Em from doin' anythin'. The last thing that I heard was Em screamin' and the honey of Jasper's voice. Then my world went totally black.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffy but I thought that it was a good place to end this chapter. *innocent smile* I'm working on chapter 5 and will have it up some time next week. So until then, have a good rest of the week. LW *waves*


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I own none of the characters in this story, they are the property of SM. Beat by Wolfchild, my cuz

BPOV

I always thought that dyin' was easy and there was no pain. When my world went black, I was sure that it wouldn't be long till I saw the white light everyone talks about seein' when a person dies, so you know what direction to go in. I half expected to see those pearly gates of heaven and Saint Peter waitin' there to welcome me in and to tell me where my Jasper was. I'd never done anythin' in my life to cause me to go to hell. I helped people as much as I could, I attended church and I didn't lay down with Jasper before marriage.

But I guess I must have done somethin' because I was in so much pain. It felt as if I was bein' burned from the inside out. All of my limbs were on fire and no matter how much I wanted to scream and beg for mercy the only noises I could make were moans. I couldn't see anythin'. Everythin' was black and it felt like my brain was disconnected from the rest of my body. I tried to open my eyes, move a finger or even a toe but no matter how hard I tried I didn't move. It was like a heavy hand was pressin' down on me and it wouldn't let me move or scream.

I couldn't figure out what was goin' on. Was I dead, dyin' or was it somthin' else? I wanted Em to rescue me but I didn't want him to end up the same way as me. At one point I felt as if I was movin' but I didn't know if I was imaginin' it or not. As I was lying there... wherever it was, my mind began runnin' through all of my memories. I saw all the happy times and the not so happy times playin' through my mind. Every time my mind pulled Jasper's face up from a memory, I lingered on his face, rememberin' every detail.

I don't know how long I was burnin' for, but there were times when it hurt more then others. At those times, I screamed bloody murder, though I don't know if anyone but me heard it. At those times, I wished for nothin' more then for someone to kill me and make the burnin' stop. I had hoped to see my Jasper again in the afterlife but at that moment I didn't think it would ever happen. For some reason I was goin' to hell instead of heaven and I didn't know why. I wanted to cry, but no tears would come. I didn't know if it was because of the pain or not.

Eventually I noticed that the pain and fire were starin' to leave my body. It was a slow process that started with my toes and then worked its way up my legs, to my stomach, fingers, hands and arms. It seemed as if the pain was goin' in one direction - straight to my heart. I noticed that when the fire hit my stomach it started to move faster. My heart started beatin' uncontrollably like it knew it wouldn't be beatin' for much longer and it wanted to get out as many beats as it could. I also noticed that my hearin' was becomin' sharper too. I could hear the wind, birds and horse hooves. I heard other sounds as well, but I focused on the sounds of nature because they had always calmed me. But not this time. The fire reached my heart and it started beatin' like mad, as if it was tryin' to escape my chest.

Then, all of a sudden, it just stopped. I lay there waitin' to see what was goin' to happen next. I hoped that someone would be tellin' me soon where I was and what all of that pain was about. After lyin' there for sometime and no one comin' to me, I realized that they probably thought I was dead because I hadn't moved since my heart stopped beatin'. I knew I had to move, so that whoever was around would know that I was alive. I decided to move my finger but before I finished my thought, my finger was movin'. I was glad to know that my brain was finally listenin' to me again. I wiggled my finger for a bit but no one came to me. I then decided to move my foot and just like last time I wasn't through with the thought before I could feel my foot movin'. After waitin' for a bit again and still hearin' no other thoughts I was startin' to get impatient. If no one was goin' to come to me then I would go to them.

I opened my eyes and was amazed. Everythin' was so bright and so much clearer. It was like I was seein' everythin' for the first time.

EmPOV

I felt so bad for my little sister when we found out that Jasper wouldn't be comin' back home. I saw her retreat into herself day after day and it killed me knowin' that there was nothin' I could do to make her better. Then one day I see her goin' through the motions of every day life. I knew that the others thought that she was gettin' back to her old self but what they didn't see was the look of death in her once beautiful chocolate eyes. I was the only one that could see and knew she was puttin' on an act for everyone. I tried to ask her about it but she wouldn't say anythin'. I knew that I needed to get her alone so that would could talk without havin' to worry about someone overhearin' or botherin' us.

I had the perfect spot in mind - our meadow. I just needed to get Bella away. She was workin' hard at her new business and I was glad that she had somethin' to fill her time. I thought the best time would be at lunch time, so on a nice Wednesday I went into her sewin' room and asked her if she wanted to go on a picnic with me. She told me that she would love to go on a picnic just as soon as she finished Mrs. Cooper's dress. While she was doin' that I packed up the picnic basket. When she was done her mendin' we went out to the stable, where I already had our horses waitin' to go and after helpin' Bells up onto Twilight, I got on New Moon and then we took off.

I enjoyed the race that we had and made sure to let her win this time but I wouldn't be doin' that again. I helped her down off of Twi and after she placed the blanket down on the grass and was sittin', I handed her the basket and sat down next to her. Then we began to eat. I had to work up to askin' her about the act that she was puttin' on and when she told me why she was doin' it, I was sadden even more and angry at our parents for wantin' to send her to some other relatives. Sure there was always goin' to be memories of her and Jasper around her but I knew that forcin' her to leave would be worse. I told her that I understood and that I wouldn't tell anyone what she was up to. She thanked me and then we sat well until the sun started to set just talkin' and havin' fun. It had been some time since she'd truly laughed at my jokes like she was doin' that day.

I knew that we needed to head back. So we got everythin' picked up and we started off for home. When we were half way there a man stepped out of the forest and just stared at us. I didn't like the look of him and I wanted to get as far away from him as possible but Bella havin' the big heart that she does, offered him our leftovers. He took them and I thought that would be it, that he would go on his way and we could go on our own, but the next thing that I knew, he was pullin' Bella off Twi and he had his mouth next to her neck. I was pissed and this man was goin' to pay for the way that he was treatin' my little sister. I had just gotten off of New Moon and was almost to the stranger when another man stepped out of the forest and blocked my path.

I knew that I could take him but I was more concerned with gettin' to Bella and makin sure that man wasn't defilin' her. I made a move towards Bella but the man in front of me mirrored my moved and just shook his head with a small laugh. There was no way in hell I was goin' to let this sorry excuse of a man think that he could intimidate me. I moved again and once again he mirrored my move. But this time he got closer to me. I tired again and again to get to Bella but the closer I got to her, the closer the other man got to me. I heard Bella scream and I began runnin' towards her, screamin', only to have the man move in front of me at a speed that wasn't humanly possible and then before I could say or do anythin' more, his mouth was at my neck and I crashed to the ground and blackness took over.

The fire that was spreadin' through my body was unbearable. I screamed and pleaded for someone to kill me but it was no use. No one was comin' to help me. I wondered why dyin' was so painful and why I didn't seem to be heading towards heaven. I didn't know what I had done... I was sure that if I was dead I would be standin' in front of heavens gates by then waitin' to be let in and hopefully findin' Bella, provided of course that she wasn't already wrapped in Jasper's arms somewhere.

I could feel in every part of my body the fire lickin' at me. It was like someone lit me on fire from the inside. I tried to move but I noticed that my brain was disconnected from the rest of my body. I didn't know what the hell was goin' on and I felt like a failer to Bella because I wasn't able to get to her and save her. God only knows what those men were doin' to her and there was nothin' that I can do because of all this blackness and fire in my limbs. I decided that if I was dyin' or already dead that I would remember all of the good things in my life. I remembered Bella, Jasper, my mama and daddy. Jokes I'd told and pranks I'd pulled. I remembered how happy I was when Jasper proposed to Bella knowin' that she was goin' to be well taken care of and I also remember the pain, sadness and death in her eyes once we found out that he wouldn't be comin' back to us.

I could feel the fire was startin' to leave my body and I hoped it meant that what ever mix up had happened to send me to hell; had been straightened out I was finally goin' to heaven. The fire started to leave my feet first and made its way up my legs and stomach. Then I noticed that it started to leave my fingers and ran up my arms. It was then that I realized that my heart was beatin' much faster then it had been and all the fire seemed to be goin' in that direction. After a few more minutes of the fire headin' straight for my heart and the aforementioned organ was beatin' like crazy, it stopped.

After waitin' a few minutes to see what was goin' to happen now that the fire had stopped, I grew impatient and opened my eyes to see what heaven looked like. Everythin' looked clearer then when I was alive and I could hear everythin' so much better now. The clouds above me were so white and fluffy, that they looked as if they could be a pillow and the sun; I have never noticed how bright it was till I opened my eyes again once the fire stopped. I couldn't see much from where I was lyin' so I sat up; quicker then I've ever done and looked around. I was in awe how alike heaven was to earth. I looked like we were still in the forest not to far from home. I looked around me again and gasped when I saw Bella lyin' not to far from me.

I scrambled up and rushed over to her. I noticed that I seemed to be faster then before. I got to Bella in a blink of an eye and crouched down over her. I looked at her and she looked more beautiful then she had before, not that she wasn't always beautiful mind you. I placed my hand on her shoulder and noticed that not only me but Bella as well seemed to be paler then we actually were. I shook her shoulder lightly and she flung open her eyes and I gasped at the red eyes that started back at me. I moved away from her wonderin' if this was some sort of dream or was she now a demon. Bella looked at me confused for a few minutes and then when her eyes landed on mine she sprung from her spot where she had been lying and started to back away much the same as I was.

I didn't know what the hell was goin' on and I wanted some answers

"Bells why are your eyes red?" I noticed that my voice sounded different

"I was just goin' to ask you the same thin' Em"

I noticed that Bella's voice had a bell like quality to it.

"My eyes are red?" I asked with wonder

"Yeah they are"

"What the hell is goin' on. Where are we?" I was worried

"I wish I knew Em"

"Did you feel like you were bein' burnt Bells?"

"Yeah" she answered with concern in her voice

"Same here" I replied

"What the hell happened to us Em?"

I shook my head but then we both heard a voice say _"Perhaps that question and the others that you have are better suited for us" _

A/N: So what do y'all think? Good, crappy or so-so? I'm working on the next chapter and will have it up soon. Also to clear up some confusion: No Jasper is not the one to turn her; I'm going to give you a little spoiler and tell you that Jasper and Bella do not meet again till he is with the Cullen's. When I referred to Bella hearing Jasper as her world went black, I was doing it to how in New Moon she can hear Edward's voice when she goes and does something stupid after he leaves. Bella only hears Jasper's voice because her mind brought up the one sound that she would want to hear as she lay "dying". Hope that clears it up for everyone. Until then *waves*


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I own zip in this fic. I do however own a lot of stuff including all the twi DVD's, 2 Edward bookmarkers, a Jasper, an Emmett and the twilight movie cover bookmarker. The illustrated guide, twi, nm and eclipse soundtracks and a lot of other things. Beta by: Wolfchild, my cuz

BPOV

After the first time seein' everythin' so bright, I closed my eyes again because it was weird to see everythin' that was around me. I just lied there and tried to get my bearings. I couldn't see anythin' but the blue sky and the clouds. As I was lyin' there, I had a feelin' that I wasn't alone. I made sure not to move when I smelt someone get closer to me. I even stopped breathin' which I noticed wasn't uncomfortable like it usually was when I tried holdin' my breath for a spell. The person that was near me smelt familiar but smelt different at the same time. The person was standin' right next to me and slowly they placed their hand on my shoulder, I stiffened even more but then I hear my name bein' called and even though it sounded different, I knew that it was Em, I flung open my eyes and gasped at the same time that Em did. I couldn't believe that Em had red eyes, like that man that attacked me.

I noticed that Em was backin' away from me and I got to my feet quickly and started backin' away from him as well. We stood there starin' at each other for a few minutes then asked why we had red eyes and if we both felt like we were bein' burned alive. When Em asked what the hell was goin' on, we heard someone say _"Perhaps that question and the others that you have are better suited for us" _I spun on my heel and came face to face with the man that had attacked me and his friend. Without realizin' it I moved closer to Em. I noticed that he was standin' in a half crouch and I copied him. We stared at the men and after a few minutes Em said

"Who are you and what do you want with us"

"I am Afton and this is my brother Santiago" The man that attacked me said

"We mean you no harm. If you'll follow us we'll take you to our house and explain all to you" Santiago said.

I didn't trust them and I could feel a growl buildin' in my chest and that scared me because I didn't know why I was growlin'. The men didn't make any moves towards Em or I and they stood in a submissive stance; their eyes on the ground and their hands up in front of them with their palms facin' Em and I. They stood as still as statues and I don't even think that they were breathin', after a few minutes Em straighten out of his crouch and stood to his full height, I didn't know what he was goin' to do. He looked over to me and whispered that it was ok, that they weren't goin' to hurt us. I asked him if he was sure and he told me that he could tell that they weren't lyin'. My eyes darted between Em and the two men who were no longer standin' in the submissive stance. I decided that I trusted Em and if he said that they weren't goin' to harm us then I had to believe him.

I straighten out of my crouch and moved so that I was standin' closer to Em. Afton then spoke

"I'm glad that you believe us, now if you would follow us, our house is not that far away and we will explain everything to you both"

I looked to Em and he nodded so he and I followed Afton and Santiago. We didn't go near the town and it seemed that we were takin' the back roads goin' more into the forest that surrounded us. We walked into a brightly light spot by the sun and I noticed that Em's arm was glitterin'. I gasped and when Em looked at me and I pointed to his arm, I saw that I as well was glitterin' as if Santiago knew we were goin' to ask what was goin' on he said that all would be reviled to us in due time. It wasn't long after that that we came to a nice lookin' house. Afton invited us in and led us to the livin' room, after we took our seats there was a pause before either Afton or Santiago said anythin'. Ten whole minutes later Afton took a deep breath and said

"What we have to tell you will come to a shock to you and you may not believe us at first but I assure you that we are telling you 100% of the truth, we will never lie to you, just please try not to interrupted me"

Em and I nodded our heads and then after Afton and Santiago shared a look, Afton took a deep breath and began to speak again

"My brother and I are different from what you and your brother were. We appear human but we are not, all of us in this room are vampires..."

I looked at him as if he was crazy and as much as I wanted to say somethin' I promised that I wouldn't and so I kept my mouth shut and let him continue

"As you can see from our red eyes we drink the blood of humans but there are two rules that you most follow at all times no matter what. One, when you hunt, do it at night, its easier to hide your red eyes and don't go in the same area to many times. Two, never and I mean never drink from a child. You can't go out in direct sunlight because our skin sparkles and it would draw to much attention to the humans. Venom runs threw our veins and is able to heal us if we ever lose a limb. As well venom will pool in your mouth when you smell blood. Another thing our venom does is change humans into us, so you need to make sure that you either put enough venom into someone should you wish to turn them or you need to drain them completely or the human will die tragically because of how ever much venom is in there veins if they are left alive. Also there are a group of vampires known as the Volturi; they are kinda like the Royal Family of the vampires. They make sure that the rules are enforced and if any vampire is found out to not be following the rules that vampire will have to deal with the Volturi. There is one other thing that you should know and it ties in with what Santiago is about to tell you"

I knew that for a fact that if what Afton was sayin' that Em and I were vampires that I would never harm a child. I couldn't see myself doin' that ever. I was scared at thought of huntin' someone down and then drainin them of their life force. I didn't like the sound of these Volturi either and I knew that I would be keepin' a low profile, I didn't want to have to deal with them, they sounded as if they didn't take any mercy on people... or I should say vampires.

"Now your probably wondering why we turned you instead of just draining you" Afton went on " For the answer to that, Santiago will be the one to explain it to you"

He turned to look at Santiago and gave him a nod. Santiago nodded back to him and then he began to speak

"There are some vampires that brings special gifts with them when they are turned. Sometimes the human exhibits some part of the gift while they are still human but they don't know it. I have a gift which is being able to tell who has a gift and would do better being a vampire then staying human. When we came upon you two I noticed that the both of you had gifts, I told Afton before we approached you so that he would know not to drain you. The thing that Afton was referring to a minute ago about the last thing that you should know about the Volturi is that they like to try and collect vampires who have gifts that they feel would be worth wild to have in their guards. If they found out about you two then they will try to recruit you to join them in a lifetime of service to them. They are not ones to let you go that easy once they have you"

It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I have a gift let alone that I was now a vampire or the fact that I had to make sure to stay on the good side of these Volturi because I didn't want to spend the rest of my vampire life servin' them. I didn't know that much about them but I got a bad feelin' about them.

"So what are our gifts?" Em asked Santiago

"Well Emmett your gift is being able to know when someone is lying to you or not. This is why you both are sitting here now. Miss. Isabella your gift is a shield, both a mental and a physical one"

"What does that mean?" I asked confused

"Well my dear it means that if a mind reading vampire was to come across you, he or she wouldn't be able to hear your thoughts, as well you can protect others once you learn to expand your shield to cover others"

"So how long will it take me to learn to protect others?" I asked

"Well first we have to get you used to your new life then we can begin to train your gift"

"Speaking of getting you used to your new life" Afton cut in "I have never seen two newborns act the way that you are acting now"

"How are we actin' that is different?" Em asked

"Well Emmett, you both are sitting here talking to us where other newborns would be going crazy because they haven't had any blood" Afton replied

It was then that I noticed a dry burn at the back of my throat. It felt as if I haven't had anythin' to drink in days. I wrapped my hand around my throat as if to stop the burnin'. I noticed that Afton and Santiago shared at look. Before I could question what the look was about Santiago suggested that it was time to take us huntin'.

"But I thought that you said that we had to hunt at night" I asked with fear that even I could hear in my voice

"Miss. Isabella if you will take a glance outside, you will in fact see that it is night fall" Afton replied

I turned my body halfway to look out the window that was just behind me and saw that in fact Afton was right, that it was indeed night. I nodded my head to him and he told Em and I not to be afraid that our bodies would know what to do once it smells its prey. Afton and Santiago stood then, so did Em and l and they led us out into the night. We kept to the back streets and tried to stay in the dark as much as possible.

They led us to town and over to the saloon, where we could hear some rowdy men harassin' the barmaid. The smells were overwelmin' now that I was a vampire. The smell of the beer, the blood of the men and the barmaid and the smoke that hung in the air was a hundred times stronger then what it was when I was human. The more that the men harassed the barmaid, the more that I could feel a growl buildin' in my chest. My body on its own accord bent at the waist as if in a half crouch and I was about to go in there but I felt a restrain' hand on my shoulder and I turned to look at who was holdin' me back with my lips pulled back over my teeth mid- growl. It was Afton that had his hand on my shoulder, I snapped at him and he said to me

"Patience young one, we need to make sure that the barmaid is out of the way before we let you and your brother attack. She is a single mother, her husband is fighting in the civil war"

As soon as I heard the words "civil war", my mind flashed to Jasper's perfect face and I stood up out of my crouch because I knew that if Jasper was still alive and he came home to find out that I die a violent death that it would kill him, plus also I didn't want to leave her child with the possibly of not have a mother or both parents if in fact her husband didn't come home. I looked over to Em and saw that he as well stood out of his crouch so that we could wait till she got to safety.

It wasn't long that Santiago; who I didn't know left, rejoined us and told us that the barmaid was safe and to let us lose. Afton nodded his head and turned to Em and I and told us to go ahead. I crept to the door and opened it slightly and as soon as the smell of blood from the men that was still inside hit my nose, venom started to pool in my mouth and I could feel the growl startin' to build again. I didn't have to think, my body took over for me. Before I knew it, I was stalkin' into the saloon and up to the first man that I saw. I could smell the drink on the man and knew that he was three sheets to the wind. He looked at me with bleary eyes and a sick smile formed on his face. He spoke with slurred words and thought that I was there to give him a good time. I didn't know what made me to do it but I told him that I did want to show him a good time and told him to follow me.

I led him back out the front door and I kept walkin' till I was behind the saloon's alleyway, which was dark. I let him push me up against the wall as he began to skim his nose along my collarbone; he was so drunk that he didn't notice how cold that I was. He began to run his hand down my arm and I knew that he was makin' his way towards my bosoms; I was goin' to let him get so far, so that he thought that he had the upper hand before I sank my teeth into him. His hand was on top of my right bosom and he was about to drag it down my bosom when I grabbed a fist full of his hair and moved his head to the side. He wasn't payin' attention to what I was doin', he must have thought that I was lost in the moment. I brought my lips close to his neck where I could see the vain pumpin' the blood threw his body and licked my lips.

His hand had started to squeeze my bosom when I sunk my teeth into his neck and began to drink his blood. The blood that was flowin' down my throat was like the sweetest nectar that I had ever tasted. It soothed the burn in my throat and it made me feel more alive. He struggled at first but the more blood that I took from him the more his failin' limbs stopped movin'. I drank from his till there was nothin' left and then I detached from his now dead body and threw him to the ground unsure of what to do with his body.

The blood stated my thirst but I wanted more and more, somethin' that Afton and Santiago told Em and I while runnin' into town was a feelin' that was never gonna go away. Once we got out of the newborn stage which lasted a year, it would calm down but it would never leave. I gave one last glance at the man whose life I just took, lick the trickle of blood off the corner of my lips which I could feel there and then walked out of the alleyway and back towards the front of the saloon in hopes that there would be another drunk human for me to feed on. I had no guilt for takin' that man's life because I knew that he would have violated the barmaid with his buddies if we hadn't come and gotten her to safety and taken care of them ourselves. I then made the decision to only hunt murderers, rapists and other low lives. I walked into the saloon then and went in search of my next neck to drain.

A/N: So I hoped that answered your questions about why they were turned and who turned them. We will be doing a time jump next chapter to twenty years later. I hope all of you had a great holiday and new year's eve. *waves* until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I don't own the characters; if I did Jasper would have more to say. I only own the plot. Beta by: Wolfchild my cuz

20 years later

BPOV

I was sittin' with Em in the house that we were currently rentin' in Alaska, lookin' out at the night sky. It was hard to believe that Em and I had been vampires for twenty years. My heart was still broken and even though it had been a long time, I still missed my mama and daddy. I thought back on our lives and how they had changed since becomin' vampires.

~Flashback~

About three years after our change Em and I went back home. It was a Sunday so both mama and daddy and the Whitlock's were at church. We knew we didn't have much time so we snuck first into the house that Jasper and I would have shared and it was like it had been frozen in time just like us. Everythin' was as we had left it before we went on our picnic. Mrs. Cooper's dress was still hanging on the wardrobe door where I left it, there was a knife in the kitchen sink that Em had used to make lunch and some of my sewin' that I had left was still in the same place. The only difference was the layers of dust coverin' everythin'. I guess it was just to much for mama to come here once they found out that we were missin'

We gathered some personal things that we wanted to keep and then we made our way over to mama and daddy's house. The one thing that was the most important to me was a picture of Jasper in his uniform that he had done for me as a gift before he left again. We knew that soon mama and daddy would be comin' home and so we looked around their house quickly and then I told Em that I wanted to go and say a final goodbye to Jasper seein' as how I didn't know when we would be able to come back, if ever. He agreed, so once we said a final farewell to mama and daddy we left and went to the river. Em let me go ahead of him and once I broke through the overgrown grass and bushes, I saw that a cross had been put up for Em and I next to Jasper's. On mine they didn't put Isabella Swan, they put Isabella Whitlock. It touched me that they had done that and my eyes filled with tears that would never fall again. After some time on my own talking to Jasper, I told Em that it was okay for him to come on through. It didn't take him long and once he saw his cross along side Jasper's and mine, I could see the venom in his eyes as well. He said a few words to Jasper, tellin' him that he would always take care of me. We heard horse hooves comin' closer and even though we knew that we should have fled, we found a spot where we could hide and watched mama and daddy and Mrs. and Mr. Whitlock come home from church. Mama looked like a shell of her former self. She had bags under her red rimmed eyes. My undead heart ached for her but I knew that there was nothin' that I could do to ease her pain. We stayed until they went into the house and then we took off makin' sure not to look back.

We made our way back to Afton and Santiago but they didn't question what had happen. They knew, of course, where we had gone but didn't question us. We traveled around, staying only a couple of months in a town before moving on to another. The hardest question I had to answer was whether or not Em and I were betrothed to each other. My answer was always the same, that I was a widow (how I **hated** that word), that my husband had died in the civil war and I was travelin' with my brother and some cousins (that was how we explained Afton and Santiago). When asked why I was travelin' I responded that I couldn't bear to stay in the place where I fell in love with my husband. The women understood me and there were some men that tried to get fresh with me, but Em was always there to protect me.

That line of questionin' followed me wherever we went. Even now I still had to answer the same questions and it never got easier to say that word. We met other vampires along the way, some of them were nice and others were down right rude. The one thing the nice ones told us was to stay far away from Mexico as there was a war ragin' there and it was a bad one. There were stories of a vampire referred to as the God of War, Bringer of Death or simply El Diablo, the devil. From what we were told he had no regard for the lives that he took, he turned humans into vampires and trained them. If they didn't hold up to his expectations, he would dispatch them as quickly as he made them. We made a pact never to go near there because we didn't want to end up in the middle of that war.

We enjoyed travelin' and Afton and Santiago told us a lot about the various places that we went to. They were both very knowledgeable. After travelin' together for about ten years, Santiago started showin' interest in me but I sat him down and explained to him about my human life and that no matter how much venom was pumpin' through my veins, my heart would forever remain broken and belong to Jasper. He told me that he understood and hoped that one day my heart would heal and accept love again, somethin' that I highly doubted would happen.

Eventually Em and I decided to leave and begin travelin' on our own. Afton and Santiago were saddened by our decision, but they understood our desire to break out on our own and experience all that this life had to offer. We still hunted at night and I kept the promise that I had made to myself to only hunt the scum of the earth. Em agreed to do the same. Afton and Santiago were nice enough to give us some of the money they had stashed away, so that we would be able to pay for places to stay in. I didn't want to take it at first but they told me that it was their way of makin' sure that we would be safe on our own. After a while I finally agreed. Em and I took whatever money our meals had on them. It wasn't somethin' I liked doin', but it wasn't like they were goin' to need it in the afterlife and it would make it look more like a muggin' gone wrong when they were found. Afton told us to make sure that we always left enough blood in our meals to avoid raisin' any suspicions so that's what we did.

~End Flashback~

We had decided to head to Alaska because we were told by some of the nice vampires that it was a great place to live. We didn't have to worry about being to close to humans which was great for Em because it got tirin' on him dealin' with all the people that were lyin' or tellin' the truth to someone. So we headed out here, found a nice house to rent and we were livin' comfortably. When people seen our red eyes they were scared until we explained that we had a rare genetic disorder that gave us the red eyes. Some people believe us and others did not. The ones, who didn't, thought that we were demons. I grew board stayin' at home doin' notin' when I was so used to doin' things around the house that Em suggested that I take up my sewin' again. The women of the towns where we were livin' loved the work that I did and were always sadden when I would tell them that we were movin' on to a new town. There were also times that a farmer would hire Em to help with a harvest and with whatever money we got we saved for out next adventure because that's how we looked at our lives now as one big adventure.

A/N: I know that it's short, don't hate me. This was always met to be a filler chapter. Next chapter will be when the fun begins so there won't be so much heavy. We will be skipping to when Bella and Em come in contact with the Cullen's and Jasper. So it will be a hundred years from this chapter, in case you are wondering this chapter was set in 1883 and with the time jump we will be in 1983. Until then *waves*


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I own nothing only the plot. Beta by my cuz Wolfchild

BPOV

New York, 1983. Boy had times changed. Women didn't have to wear dresses anymore. They could actually wear pants. Long gone were the whalebone corsets, pantaloons and crinoline hoop-skirts and in their place, bras, panties, leg warmers and mini skirts - skirts so short they would have given my mama a heart attack if she had seen them. Em and I had been living in New York for a couple of months. It was so busy and full of people. At times I missed the simple life of livin' on a farm. Em seemed to have adjusted to our new way of life fairly quickly and I was too, but at a slightly slower pace. Em suggested that because we still looked so young that we should go back to school. I was hesitant at first, but he talked me into it, sayin' that it would be fun, that we still looked human, so why not give it a shot. He also said that if it didn't work out I could always leave. When I asked him what we would say about our red eyes and the coldness of our skin, he said that we would stick with the same story we had been using for the last 80 or so years. We would say it was a rare genetic disorder. He said that since it had worked so far, there was no reason why it wouldn't work now. I agreed and so we enrolled at the local high school. I had to admit that it was kinda fun, but also annoyin' because the teachers didn't know half of what Em and I knew some things they were totally wrong about. I'm sure Em and I could have taught the classes far better then the ones who were gettin' paid for it. Most of the time, I just ignored the teachers. After all it wasn't like I was goin' to fail the classes seein' as how I knew everythin' they were talkin' about already.

Em and I had an apartment that we are rentin' and when people asked where our parents were we told them that they had died in a car accident and that we didn't have any livin' relatives who would be able to take care of us which was true. We _**didn't**_ have any livin' relatives. They asked us why we left Texas and we said that it was hard to stay on our farm after our parents passin' so one day we just decided to get in the car and drive and see where we ended up. That seemed to please everyone. The humans steer clear of us in school. It was like they knew that we were dangerous. I didn't mind because I wasn't one for attention. Em was recruited for the wrestlin' team and with his size he had no problem making the team. I was asked to join the cheerleader' squad. If I was still human I would have turned it down because I wasn't the most graceful person, but as a vampire, I had no problems. I was still thinkin' of turnin' it down, but Em told me not to because it would give me somethin' to do. I agreed and the team was amazed by what I could do and how quickly I learned the routines. I actually found myself startin' to have fun. And once the humans got to know us, they actually liked us. It was kind of weird, but I went with it.

Em and I were sittin' in the lunchroom pretendin' to eat, when all of a sudden; we noticed the presence of other vampires. We exchanged a frightened glance, wonderin' how we didn't notice them before. I scanned the lunchroom quickly and found them sittin' off in a semi-dark corner. There were four of them, two males and two females. One male and one female had the same blond hair, although the male's was more of a honey color. It reminded me of my Jasper's hair, the memory sendin' a stab of pain through my undead heart. The other male had bronze colored hair which he nervously combed his fingers through, and the other female had short spiky black hair. I whispered to Em about them, at vampire speed and he nodded ever so slightly so no one other than me would see. I turned to the girl sittin' next to me. Her name was Jessica Stanley and she was a fellow cheerleader. I asked if she knew who they were and she said they must be the new kids that everyone had heard would be comin' soon. I racked my brain, tryin' to remember and then it came to me. Everyone had been talkin' about some new kids who had just moved to town. Apparently they were the adoptive children of the new ER doctor and his wife.

I knew that Em and I needed to make contact with them first, seein' as how we were the first vampires there, and see if they were goin' to pose a threat to us or not. We decided to wait till after school. When the bell rang signalin' afternoon classes, Em went to math and I went to English. When almost all of the students were in their seats; with mine bein' open because I liked sittin' by myself, the spiky black haired vampire danced into class and came and sat next to me. So much for waitin' till after school to confront them. As soon as she sat down, she began to talk at vampire speed

"Hi Bella, it's so great to finally meet you. I've been waiting so long for this day. I'm Alice Cullen by the way. Oh I'm so happy, you and I are going to be lifelong friends"

I couldn't reply. I could only sit there dumbfounded at her words. Why was she lookin' for me? How did she know that I would be here? I turned to face her and ask my questions but one look at her and a tiny gasp left my lips. She had gold eyes. How could she have gold eyes? All the vampires I knew or came across had red ones.

"How do you have gold eyes?" I asked

"My family and I will explain all when you and Em come over to our house after school"

"Who says my brother and I will be comin' to a strange vampire's house?"

"I've seen it. You both are going to learn so much"

"What do you mean you've seen it?" I asked confused

"I'll explain later. Don't worry so much" she replied with a giggle

Nothin' more was said after that and I spent the rest of the afternoon tryin' to figure out what this vampire sittin' beside me was all about. I saw all of the other vampires, expect for the blond male. I always seemed to miss him somehow. When Em and I shared a class together I told him all of what Alice told me. He told me that he had met Edward and that he told him the same thing and he had felt nothin' but truth comin' from him. I asked him what he thought of goin' over to their house and he said it couldn't hurt to learn about these other vampires. I had to agree with that, so after class we found ourselves makin' our way to the Cullen house per Alice's instructions. The drive took us well into the forest and soon we came upon a huge white house with a wrap around porch, it was beautiful. We came to a stop and got out; we walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. It was answered by a beautiful female vampire that had caramel colored hair and kind eyes. She smiled at us and then said

"Hello you must be Isabella and Emmett Swan, we've been expecting you. Please come in. I'm Esme by the way"

"Thank you" I replied

She moved to the side and gestured for us to step inside. The house was even more beautiful on the inside. The first floor was all open and on one wall it was all windows that looked out onto the forest. Esme directed us to the livin' room where all the other vampires were sittin'. She went and stood by another blond male. They didn't say anythin' at first. I guess they were lettin' us take it all in. All of them were there expect for the first blond male. It made me wonder where he was. The man that Esme was standin' next to cleared his throat and said

"Won't you please sit?"

I nodded and Em and I sat on the love seat opposite Esme and the man.

"Well I would say introductions are in order" The man said "This is my wife and mate Esme. The beautiful blond on my right is Rosalie, the man beside her is Edward and I'm sure that you've already met Edward's mate and wife Alice. Our other son Jasper is out hunting at this minute but I'm sure that he will be home soon. I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen but you can just call me Carlisle" He smiled and then sat down.

"I'm Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella and this is my brother Emmett or just Em for short" I replied.

When I heard the name Jasper my cold undead heart clenched but I tried not to show the pain. I looked over at Em and saw that he was makin' goo goo eyes at Rosalie, I snorted. Typical Em, always tryin' to flirt with the pretty women. I even caught him flirtin' with the human women as well. I bet that Jasper was married to Rosalie and they probably would have had beautiful blond hair children runnin' around them had they not been vampires. Again my undead heart clenched but I tried to pass it off.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. Would you mind sharing how you came into the vampire life? We of course will do the same." Carlisle said

I nodded my head and then launched into our stories. When I was describin' Jasper, I noticed a look pass between all the Cullen's and wondered what was wrong. I then told them how Em and I got turned and upon Em's nod of approval I told them about our gifts and how they work. They were surprised to find out that we both had gifts. Carlisle said that it was rare that siblings both had gifts when they were turned. They were also interested to learn that I was both a mental and physical shield and that my range to cover people was a hundred feet. They wondered if we knew about the Volturi because they were concerned that with our gifts that we would be forced to guard them should they ever find out and I told them that we did know all about them. I told them that our creators taught us everythin' that we knew.

Once I finished tellin' them our stories, they told us about theirs. All of their stories were so tragic and my undead heart ached for them. Alice then told us that her, Edward and Jasper are the ones in the family with gifts. Hers was the ability to see the future, Edward was a mind reader and Jasper was an empath. It was then that I realized that she must have seen me comin' to New York with her gift and I understood her words from this afternoon. She told me that the gift was very useful because she was able to see in advance if trouble was comin' or trends in the stock market or when they would be makin' new friends like Em and I, but she also told me that her gift was subjective because the future could always change. I then asked her exactly what it meant that Jasper was an empath and Alice told me that it meant that he could affect people's emotions. He could calm down a rowdy group of vampires or rile them up.

"How is it that y'all have gold eyes?" I asked once Alice finished talkin'

"Carlisle is the best one to explain that" Alice said. I turned to look at Carlisle

"You see Bella and Emmett, when I was first "born" into this life I hated it and I didn't want this life. I tried everything that I could think of to kill myself. I was in a cave one day when a heard a deer ran past, I was so thirsty that I attacked before I thought. I fed from three deers and once I was satiate, I realized that I wouldn't have to harm humans. I could live off of animals. It takes about a month for our eyes to turn from red to gold and every time I bring someone new into the family I teach them about the animals. I have never forced my way of feeding anyone though."

"What's it like to hunt animals?" Em asked

"Well they don't have the same taste as humans do and it takes time to get used to the animals taste but its not all bad" Carlisle replied

"What are the best types of animals?" I then asked

"Well you're going to have to go through a lot of animals till you find the one that you like the most" Edward said "I prefer mountain lion and Jasper prefers moose. The rest of the family prefers deer"

"I want to try it" Em said. I chuckled because Em was always one for tryin' new things

"Of course Em, I'm sure one of my children would love to assist you" Carlisle said "What about you Bella?"

"Um... sure I would love to try as well"

"Great I'm sure the women would love to help you out" he replied and I smiled at him

"Oh" Alice exclaimed "Jasper is on his way home. This is great. Now Bella and Em will get to meet him"

It wasn't long till we heard someone runnin' towards the house and then I could smell another vampire in the house. I made sure to keep my shield around Em and I until I knew for certain that Em and I would be safe

"Hi Jasper" Alice said "I have some new friends for you to meet. This is Isabella and Emmett Swan"

I stood up slowly and turned to face the new vampire. When our eyes made contact, I swear, if I was livin' I would have passed out...

A/N: *hides behind Jasper* ok don't hate me for the cliffy. I'm working on the next one and hopefully will have it up soon *waves from still behind Jasper* until next time. Also this story has been nominated for The Sunflower Awards in the Best Jasper category. If you would like to vote for me this is the link: . 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I own nothing, beta by my cuz Wolfchild.

JPOV

I've been a vampire for a hundred years now and there are two things that I still regret to this day. The first is signin' up for the war and leavin' my beloved Isabella. My unbeatin' heart aches knowin' that I broke my promise of returnin' to her. The second thing that I regret is stoppin' and offerin' my aide to Maria, Lucy and Nettie. There have been more then a couple of times when I wish I could go back in time and not do those two things but as the sayin' goes "everythin' happens for a reason". I'm still waitin' to see what the reason is, though. For days, when Maria didn't need me, I sat alone in my room in the compound, my mind swirlin' with images of my Isabella. Sometimes I was by her side and we were happy. And sometimes she was cryin' and askin' me why. Sometimes she was glowin'; her belly round with my child and sometimes the child was another man's.

When I first became a vampire the only thing that I could think about was blood, blood and more blood. Once I started to learn to control that, which was hard with Maria around, I started to think of other things, most often Bella - how to get back to her, how she was dealin' with knowin' that I was dead. I wanted so badly to get back to her but I was afraid that she'd moved on or that she would scream when she saw me. I dried sobbed in my room late at night when Maria gave the newborns a rest. She never knew about my Isabella and I kept it that way because I didn't want that bitch to harm her or the rest of the family in any way. My depression worsen day after day to a point where I didn't care who I killed or turned. I was Maria's second in command what with my empath gift and I became a ruthless killer, the newborns had many names for me but the one that I liked the most was The God of War. Maria wanted one thing and one thing only and that was ample feedin' grounds and I got them for her. At one point we controlled almost all of Mexico.

There was only one vampire that I ever became friends with and am still friends with today and that's Peter. When he was first turned he was stuck to me like white on rice. I don't know what it was about me but he liked me and we became friends. It was good to be able to talk to someone and I knew that I could trust Peter to never reveal anythin' that I said to him, to Maria. One night; my Isabella's birthday, he could see that I was even more depressed than I usually was and when he asked me what was wrong I told him all about my Isabella and my human life. I could tell that he really felt bad for me when he told me so, he then went on to tell me about his wife and unborn child and how it sadden him to know that he could never see them again. We sat and talked for the whole night in my room, till dawn started to break and we knew that we had to get back to trainin' the newborns.

We never spoke about that night when we bared our souls to each other. It was kept a secret. Months later we had to do another purgin' of the newborns that didn't have any gifts and that's when I gave Peter the best thing that I could give him at that time in our lives. It seems that Peter had found his mate and he knew that Maria despised mated vampires the most and that if she found out she would have them both killed, mostly likely by me. Peter had been actin' strange all mornin' when we started the purge and it wasn't till I called out the last female vampire, Charlotte, that Peter's true emotions emerged. He yelled for her to run and she did with no questions asked, and after sharin' a look with me in which I could feel his sadness, hopefulness, worry and love for Charlotte, he took off after her. He looked back at me once and then I didn't see him again. Maria was furious of course but I didn't give a shit. She saw the change in me and rarely spent any time alone with me. Five years later Peter came back for me and told me of the life that he and Charlotte were livin'. It sounded better then the one that I was currently livin' and so, after gettin' my few possessions, I left with him and never looked back.

Life for me once I'd left Maria was a little easier, but not much because I was still depressed. Every emotion that my prey felt as I stalked them, I could feel and it wasn't the greatest thing to feel. I tired to hunt less but that only resulted in me bein' more grumpy. Sometimes I let my emotions get out of control and whatever I was feelin' Peter and Char ended up feelin' as well and it was puttin' a slight strain on our relationship though none of us would admit it. Finally after spendin' about ten years with them I decided to break out on my own. They were concerned about me bein' alone, but I told them that I would be fine and that it was time for them to get out of my emotional bubble. They protested but I could feel some relief tricklin' out of them. We parted ways in Philadelphia and that's where my life took another turn.

While in Philadelphia I met Alice Cullen and then eventually her mate/husband Edward. Alice told me all about a new way of life where I didn't have to feed from humans, but could instead feed from animals and wouldn't have to worry about feelin' the emotions of my prey. When I asked how she knew about me she told me about the vision that she'd had of me needin' help and that we would meet in a dinner here in Philly. She scolded me for keepin' her waitin' and I apologized. I went back to the room that she was rentin' with Edward and they explained everythin' to me. It sounded like a good idea to not have to deal with humans and so I left with them. That was the first time that I felt hope.

We left that day to go to Edward's sire Carlisle's house. Both Edward and Alice were members of his coven and they told me that they thought of themselves more as a family then as coven members and that I would be welcomed with open arms and that they would help me along the way with my bloodlust for humans and learnin' to live off the blood of animals. It took me awhile to get my bloodlust under control and many moves from town to towns but the Cullen's never pushed me or wanted me out of their lives. Eventually I succeeded in gainin' better control of my bloodlust, but still had trouble from time to time. I told them of Isabella and they were sadden for my loss but happy that I was able to hold on to her memory, a thing that I was happy for as well.

Currently we are livin' in New York and while we were in school today we learned that there are two other vampires at the school as well. A male and a female, but as far as any of the rest of my family could figured out they weren't mates. I knew that we needed to make contact and when I spoke my mind, Ali told me not to worry because she would be seein' the female right after lunch and that they would be comin' to our house after school so that we could lean more about them. I just nodded because I'd learned not to doubt or bet against Alice. I told them that I had to hunt first and they said that they understood.

When Edward was describin' the vampires a shot of pain went through my undead heart because the female's description sounded so much like my Isabella's but I knew that it couldn't be her because when I went back to my old home I found three crosses by the river bearin' not only my name but Bella's and Em's as well. I never found out how they died because by the time I went back there was no one that I could ask. The bell rang for the afternoon classes and after partin' ways with my family I went to my classes. It was the damnedest thing. I tried findin' the female vampire but no matter were I looked I couldn't see her. It was like someone was tryin' to keep us apart.

When school ended I jumped on my Harley and drove home. I parked my bike in the garage then took off runnin' for the forest knowin' that the unknown vampires would be at the house when I got back. I hunted for half an hour and then made my way back home. As soon as Alice said Isabella and Emmett Swan my heart clenched How could this be? I must have heard her wrong. My Isabella wasn't a vampire because if I had known I would have gone in search of her many years ago. The female vampire stood and turned to face me and if I had been human I would have passed out because there standin' not five feet from me was my Isabella still as beautiful as the day I left her, the only difference was the red eyes.

"Isabella?" I whispered

"Jasper?" She whispered back

We stood there starin' at each other, our eyes roamin' over each other's bodies takin' in all the details of the other. The room was silent. I didn't know or care if the family was still in the room or not. I couldn't believe that I was standin' here lookin' at my Isabella after being apart for so long. Slowly we started to walk towards each other till we were standin' as close as we could get without touchin'. Bella slowly raised her hand and laid it gently on my cheek

"Jasper I can't believe that you're alive" she said runnin' her thumb over my cheek.

I closed my eyes savourin' the feel of her touch

"I'm alive Darlin' and I've missed you everyday since I left you"

"Not as much as I've missed you Cowboy"

She then placed her lips upon mine and I swear it was like the first time kissin' her all over again. Her lips still molded to mine as we moved together. She then pulled back from the kiss and stared into my eyes again.

"How were you turned Darlin'"

"It's a long story" she sighed

"I've got time, if you want to share it that is"

"Of course I want to share it with you. I want to tell you everythin' that Em and I have seen and done since the day that we entered this life"

"Well then Darlin' do you want to stay here or go somewhere else to talk?"

"Some where else if you, Em and the Cullen's don't mind. I would like to be able to spend sometime alone with you"

"I don't mind Bells. Besides I want to try huntin' animals" Em said to her

"Of course we don't mind Bella" Esme said next "After all you've both been through you need the time to reconnect and talk"

She smiled at them all and then took my outstretched hand and I led her out of the house. I had a special spot that was secluded where I went many times to think about Isabella. It was far away from the family and I knew, even with her already tellin' the family, that she would appreciate the seclusion. It wasn't long till we reached the meadow and Bella looked around in awe of the spot. There was a river not to far away and it was a perfect circle with many trees around it as well as flowers in the spring. The spot was well enough away from the shapeshifters that also lived here. We had an arraignment with them that as long as we didn't harm a human that wouldn't bother us. I knew that I had to either leave with Bella or see if she wanted to try the veggie diet because I wouldn't want to start a war with the shapeshifters.

I sat down in the grass and held out my hand to Bella and helped her sit down in between my legs. I wrapped my arms around her and just inhaled her scent waitin' for her to begin. She told me everything, from what she was feelin' when I left to when she thought I was dead. She also told me what she was feelin' when she and Em were transformed. She told me everything they had seen did and experienced. My dead heart broke for her when she was tellin' me that when she thought I was dead, she felt as if she was goin' to die too. Once she told me the whole story I told her all of what happened to me. She moved so that she could comfort me as I told the hard parts of my story. It felt so good to have her in my arms again.

I explained my gift to her and then she told me about hers. Once we'd told each other everything about our lives since bein' apart, I just held her in my arms. Words were no longer needed. Bella wrapped her shield around me so we really were in our own bubble. It was after dark when we heard a wolf howl and I realized that I hadn't told her about the shapeshifters yet, so I told her the story of them and the agreement that Carlisle made with the oldest leader. When she found out that they would try to kill her if they thought she drank from humans she vowed to learn to live off animal blood because she didn't want to leave me again. I told her that we would never be apart because I would follow her to the ends of the earth because now knowin' that she was alive I was never leavin' her side again. Bella smiled and after tellin' me the same thing she placed her lips on mine again. My senses were on overdrive havin' Bella in my arms, her lips on mine and her scent surroundin' me.

I knew that we had to get back to the house soon but I didn't want to leave our bubble and I had a feelin' that Bella didn't want to either but she knew that Em would be worried about her and that he would want to see me since we were best friends. I kissed her again and then asked if she was ready to head back. She told me that she was, so I got up and then helped her up. I kept my hand in hers as we walked back to the house. When we got back we found the family laughin' at somethin' that Em was tellin' them and I noticed that Rose was sittin' next to him and she had this look of awe on her face. I shifted through their emotions and I realized that they were mates. They already had a bond as strong as Bella and mine. I smiled, glad that 'my sister' was not goin' to be alone. When the rest of the family noticed us, Carlisle told us that Em had been tellin' stories from our human lives and also what he and Bella had been up to since becomin' vampires. I sat down on the love seat with Bella in my lap and we helped out with the stories sometimes tellin' the true version of the story when Em was tryin' to pass off that it was somethin' different.

Dawn started to break and we all knew that it was time to leave our happy bubble and go to school and work. After Em and Bella said goodbye to us they ran back to their apartment to get ready for school where we would all meet up. As Rose and I were walkin' up the stairs I said to her

"So you and Em, eh?"

"It's not like that" she whispered

"You can't lie to an empath. Remember?"

She huffed and said "There is just something about him that makes me feel safe when he's near"

"Your mates" I said simply

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. I could feel the strong bond already between you"

"Does the rest of the family know?" She asked with worry in her voice

"I think that Esme has an feelin' but you know that she won't say anythin' till you both are ready"

"Yeah I know"

"I think that you and Em need to talk about somethin' without the family around and get to know each other better. Just take it slow sis and it will all work out."

"Thanks Jazz" She placed a kiss on my cheek and then made her way to her bedroom to get ready

I was already missin' Bella and I couldn't wait to have her in my arms again. I quickly got showered and dressed and then with a yell to let everyone know that I was leavin', I ran out to the garage and jumped on my Harley and raced to school. I was pleased to see that Bella was already there waitin' for me. As soon as she saw me she ran over at human speed and wrapped her arms around me. I could tell that she was missin' me as much as I was missin' her in the short space of time that we'd been apart since our reconnect. I kissed her quickly and then we waited for the rest of the family to show up.

A/N: So does this make up for the cliffy last chapter? I hope you all liked it; I'm working on the next chapter and hope to have it up soon. Just a reminder you have until the 19 of this month to vote for this story if you like in The Sunflower awards. Here is the link again: http:/ thesunflowerawards. blogspot. com /2009/07/ voting. html (just take out the spaces) *waves* see ya next time laterz


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I still don't anything nor do I make any money from writing this story. Beta by my cuz Wolfchild

BPOV

Over the next couple of weeks, Jasper and I reconnected and I started the veggie diet. I started out with smaller animals that were easy to hunt but I soon became board with them and I started with the bigger animals. I was glad to find out that the thrill from huntin' humans hadn't died when I started to hunt animals. I took after Jasper in likin' moose the best, Em's favorite turned out to be bear; he said he enjoyed fightin' with them. I noticed that Em and Rose; which she liked to be called, were hangin' out a lot together and I was glad because I hoped that Em had finally found the one.

Like Alice had predicted she and I became best friends as did Rose and I. Esme became sorta like a third mom to Em and I. She was always fussin' over us, makin' sure that we did our homework, that we hunted and that we were havin' fun. I fell in love with the Cullens and I know that Em did as well. It wasn't long after we met the Cullen's that Carlisle and Esme asked us to move in with them. We told them that we didn't want to be an inconvenience to them and they assured us that we wouldn't be and that it would be better for Jasper and I to be closer. Em and I talked and we agreed to move in. Em's room wasn't too far from Rose's and Jasper's room was renovated to accommodate me as well. Even though Jasper and I couldn't sleep we still like to lie down wrapped in each others arms and pretend to be asleep. I would wrap my shield around us and Jasper would blanket us in relaxation and calm and when we did stir, we felt well rested almost like we did sleep.

At school we always sat together at the same table, it was Jasper and I, Edward and Alice and Em and Rose. The rest of the students were jealous because the Cullen's talked to us and not them. The girls on the cheer leading squad started to ignore me, but I really didn't care. They were makin' snide comments about all of us thinkin' that I couldn't hear but I could hear all that they were sayin'. I decided one day to bring along Rose and Ali to a practice. I knew that as soon as the rest of the team saw what Rose and Ali could do, they would warm up to them. I had already talked to coach and she said that it was fine to bring them along. It wasn't long till the rest of the team was in awe at how fast Ali and Rose picked up the routine. The coach was also in awe and asked the girls if they wanted to join the squad. Rose and Ali agreed.

Once people started to realize that the Cullens, like Em and I, were cool, they started to hang out with them. Every time we went out into the halls us girls were gettin' hugs from the other girls and the guys were gettin' high fives. It was so bizarre. These students didn't care that we had gold eyes and cold skin. They still wanted to hang out with us.

We met with the shapeshifters and explained to them about Em and I. They weren't keen on havin' two more vampires in the area but they agreed not to harm Em or I as long as we fed off animals. We promised them that we would stick to the animals. I noticed that a lot of the shapeshifters were fairly young. I asked one of them, who was named Jacob, why and he said that the gene usually didn't kick in till they were sixteen. For some odd reason he seemed to warm up to me quickly as did another shapeshifter named Seth. Any questions that I had they answered as long as it didn't reveal too much about their history.

We started to hang out with the shapeshifters. They had a very distinct scent which bothered us for a while but eventually we got used to it. They ate a lot - like every five minutes - which made Esme happy because she enjoyed cookin' for them when they were at our house. Apparently, for a vampire, she was a really great cook, and it made her happy to take care of them because she had more people to mother.

It was a Sunday and I was sittin' in our bedroom, curled up in a chair readin' a book. Ali and Rose were downstairs in the dinnin' room goin' through some fashion magazines and Ali was drawin' what she thought was more fashionable. Esme was out in her garden tendin' to her rose bushes. I was missin' Jasper, who had gone on an all men's huntin' trip with Edward, Em and Carlisle. They'd been gone since Friday night but were due home that afternoon. It was amazin' the way that Em and I settled so easily into life with the Cullens. It was like we'd known them since first becomin' vampires instead of a couple of months. Em and Rose had finally gotten together and they balanced each other perfectly. I was so happy for them after what Rose had gone through before she became a vampire. I was half way through my book when a familiar scent drifted in through the open window. The guys were home. I threw my book to the side and raced downstairs, eager to be in Jasper's arms again. I was standin' in the livin' room when Rose, Ali and Esme came to join me. It wasn't long before the guys came racin' out of the woods laughin'. They stopped suddenly and then we heard Edward say "_Told you Em I was the fastest. Now pay up"_. I had to laugh because that was so like Em, always bettin' on things.

They saw us watchin' them and exchanged glances then winked and took off their shirts. They started to gyrate their hips and shake their asses. It was funny but also a major turn-on. After dancin' for a few minutes with us cheerin' for them, they came inside and each one of them wrapped us women in their arms. I sighed as soon as Jasper's arms wrapped around me. He whispered that he missed me and then he placed a kiss on my lips. We all talked for a bit and then each couple left in a different direction. Carlisle and Esme went to Carlisle's study, Edward and Alice went to the library, Em and Rose went to the den and Jazz and I went up to our room. I knew that Jazz liked to get a shower once he came home from hunting, so after he went into the bathroom to get showered I went back to my book.

About twenty minutes later Jazz came out of the bathroom with the towel slung low on his hips and water drippin' from his hair. I licked my lips at the sight in front of me. Even though we were now in a time where we didn't have to wait for marriage to have sex, Jasper and I had yet to actually go that far. We had managed to come close to crossin' that line many times but we never actually did. I often wondered when we would cross that line because I was more then ready to give myself completely to Jasper. I also wondered if Jasper ever had sex while he was in his dark days with Maria or if he abstained from sex. Jasper smirked at me and said

"See somethin' ya like Darlin'?"

"Oh you know I do Cowboy" I purred

"Well now what are ya gonna do about it?"

"This"

I stalked over to him and kissed him while runnin' my hands all over his body. I traced his well defined V to the top of the towel and then ran my fingers from his right hip to his left, right above the towel. He growled a low sexy growl and grasped my hips and pulled me closer to him. He crashed his lips to mine again and I moaned at the force that he exuded when he went all primal on me. He kept pullin' me closer to him as if he was tryin' to fuse our bodies together. He pulled back from the kiss and started to place open mouth kisses along my shoulder and down my neck comin' to a stop over my mark. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes and said

"Would you ever consider havin' my mark cover that of Afton's?"

That shocked me because we had never talked about our marks. I stood there for a few minutes thinkin' over his questions and then said

"I would proudly wear your mark Jasper and I'm sure that Afton would understand. After all a mate's mark is stronger then a sire's mark"

"Really Darlin'? You would let me cover his mark?"

"Yes Jasper I would let you do that, if you so wished it"

"Well it won't be anytime soon Darlin' I want it to be done at the perfect time"

"Jasper"

"Yes Darlin'?"

"Do you know where Maria marked you?"

"Yes I do. She made sure to use that against me at times when she was mad at me"

"Would you ever consider havin' my mark cover that of Maria's?"

"Of course Darlin' I would love nothin' more then to have your mark cover hers"

"Really?"

"Yes because when I see that mark I won't have to look at it in disgust anymore, but with love because I'll know that its your mark now not hers anymore"

"Well then we will have to plan on doin' that"

"Yes we do Darlin'"

He smiled at me and then gave me another kiss and went off to the closet to get his clothes out. I sat back down and continued to read.

"Ya know Darlin', I have a book that you might be interested in" Jasper called over to me while pullin' his shirt over his head

"Oh what kind of book?" I said while lickin' my lips at the sight of a half clothed Jasper

"Well Darlin' when I was in the army on nights that I was on guard I would write in a journal that I picked up"

"Really? You still have it Jasper?" I asked with amazement in my voice

"Yeah it turns out that the army sent back all of my belongings once they found it all to my mama. When I went back that time I told ya about, my mama was out of the house and so I went in and looked around. I found some of my things and took them with me"

"That's amazin' Jazz, I would love to read it"

"Well then I'll go and find it for ya. It's somewhere up in the attic"

"I can't wait to read it" I told him honestly

He gave me a smile and then extended his hand to help me up. I took it and after placin' a kiss on his lips we headed downstairs to see what the rest of the family was up to. I couldn't wait to be able to read in Jasper's own words, his time in the war, what he saw and experienced when he was so far away from me. I had a feelin' that there would be more then one mention of me in his writin'.

It was a couple of days later when Jasper came to me and handed me a very tattered and worn brown book.

"Is this it?" I ask with wide eyes

"Yep it is Darlin' I looked for it while ya were out huntin'"

I handled the book as if it was about to fall apart at any minute. I just stared at it for a couple of minutes wonderin' what I would find out.

"Is that all ya gonna do Darlin', stare at it? Jasper chuckled from over my shoulder

"No Jazz" I swatted at his arm "I was just in awe that after all these years you still have it and wonderin' what I fill find in it."

"Well to find out ya have to open it and read it. It won't suddenly get lips and read to you"

I just laughed and said "Awe shucks, you mean to tell me that we don't live in a world where books read to me?"

"Nope sorry Darlin' we don't"

We both laughed and then I opened the book. I read the first page 

Major Jasper Whitlock

Texas Calvary

1863

Written mostly while on night watch and missin'

My Darlin' Isabella

I looked up at Jasper and he had a far away look in his eyes. My only guess was that he was rememberin' his time there. He shook his head and then looked down at me with a smile and a nod of his head. I then turned the page and begin to read...

A/N: Sorry for the long wait but I was sick. You know how the Grinch has a heart 3 size to small in the beginnin'? Well my head was 3 sizes to big for the longest time and I had trouble writin'. Hope you liked this chapter *waves* until next time


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I still don't anything nor do I make any money from writing this story. Beta by my cuz Wolfchild

Ok fans for the next three chapters we are going to be hearing what life was like for Jasper. This on is going to be set two weeks after he joined up. The second will be the day before he gets to go home on furlong and the third will be the night before he gets turned. Also these chapters are going to be short, seeing as how they are journal entries after all. I hope y'all will enjoy it

JPOV

It was night time and I was on watch. I decided to get out my journal and start to write in it. I moved from my spot to go to my tent knowin' that nothin' would happen in the minutes that I was gone because there was another man not to far from where I sat, though I don't know who it was. I passed Jackson on the way and told him to get some sleep. He saluted me which made us both laugh. I reached my tent, grabbed my journal and a pen and made my way back; seein' that Jackson had listened to me and went back to my spot against a fallen log. I flipped open my journal and the first thing that I saw was the only thing I had written in it so far - my name, the year and that it was goin' to be written at night while I was on watch. I flipped to a blank page and sat in thought for a few minutes tryin' to decide what I was goin' to write. When an idea popped into my head I put pen to paper

_Here I sit against a fallen log lookin' out into the black of the night. I hear only the wind in the trees, the few animals that are out this late and the murmured v_oices_ of my men who are either not tired yet or are just driftin' off to sleep. I haven't seen much bloodshed but I know that the longer this war goes on the more bloodshed I will see. As I sit here I wonder what my Darlin' Isabella is doin', is she asleep now or is she up because she can't sleep. I wonder if she is still mad at me, I know that she says that she understands but does she? Or did she just say that so that I wouldn't feel guilty for signin' up? _

_Not bein' with Bella feels like I've died a most painful death. As I was walkin' with the rest of the guys, it felt as if my heart was breakin' and my body was tryin' to turn and run back to Bella. I could see and feel the pain and sadness comin' from Bella as she watched me leave because I was feelin' it as well. My heart was screamin' at me to go back but my mind was tellin' me that I would get in to trouble for doin' so. _

_I could see the tears that glistened in her eyes and the few that dripped down on to her cheeks killed me more then any bullet ever could because I know that I made those tears appear. I promised her that I was goin' to make it back to her and I'm goin' to do everythin' in my power to keep that promise. _

_I can't wait to marry Bella and have her officially become Mrs. Jasper Whitlock. I know that we are goin' to have a happy life once this war is over. I can picture it all now, a couple kids runnin' around playin' with Em's kids; that is when Em finds the right girl, Bella lookin' forever beautiful no matter what time and age does to her and me still bein' in awe that I get to spend every wakin' moment with the beautiful creature that God created just for me. I hope that our children favor Bella looks wise but I know if Bella were here right now she would say that she hopes that they favor me. Really my only hope is that the have ten fingers and toes and come out healthy and grow up respectin' their elders. _

I stopped writin' then not sure what else I wanted to write plus thinkin' about Bella had my heart breakin' all over again. I looked up to the sky and saw that it has gotten darker and I knew that soon Jackson would be comin' to take over watch so that I could get some sleep. I saw a shootin' star pass in front of my eyes and made a wish on it, askin' God to make sure that I made it back to my Bella and also to keep her, Em, mama, daddy and Mrs. and Mr. Swan safe and healthy while I wasn't with them. I also prayed that Jackson and I would make it back safe as well as the rest of my men.

I heard footsteps then and turned to see Jackson comin' into view

"Hey man" Jackson said

"Hey"

"Been doin' some writin'?"

"Yep. Gonna play some music?" I asked while pointin' to his harmonica

"Yeah, though it be the best way to pass the time and keep me awake"

"Good plan. Did you get some sleep when I told ya?"

"Somewhat"

"Worrin' about Elizabeth?"

"Yeah"

"We will both make it back to our women"

"Yeah we will. Go on and get some sleep man"

"I'm goin'"

I got up, slapped Jackson on the shoulder and began to walk back to camp. As I got settled in my tent I could hear the soft sounds of Jackson playin' the harmonica, I smiled and lied down hopin' that sleep would over take me quickly. I whispered a quiet goodnight to Bella and then closed my eyes.

A/N: So how do you like the first entry of the Jasper journal? I know its short but like I said these aren't goin' to be all that long, hope y'all are ok with that. Until next time *waves*


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: I still don't own anything. This is journal entry 2 in the words of Jasper. Sorry for the wait but I had to look for a new beta. I would like to thank Wolfchild for all the hard work that she's done on my stories and cuz I hope your health improves soon. Beta by

JPOV

I had just gotten word that I was made the youngest Major of the Texas Calvary and I was also informed that I would be gettin' a furlong so that I could go and visit my family. I asked them to only send word to my family that I was made Major but not that I was comin' home for a bit. I was on night watch again and decided to get my journal out once again and write another entry. I found that writin' helped me to not only kill time but also to get what I was feelin' out. I had learned to brin' my journal with me when ever I was on guard. I pulled it out of my back pocket, unfurled it and then grabbed my pen and began to write; while listenin' to Jackson play his harmonica

_I was surprised when I was promoted to Major over much more experienced men. There were some that were not happy that I was promoted because I was younger then they were but I couldn't give a crap what they thought. I knew that people followed whatever I told them to do without questions or complaints way before I became a Major and I've always wondered why that is._

_I'm excited to be gettin' my furlong now because it was almost my eighteen birthday and I would be able to celebrate it with my Darlin' as well as my family. Ever since Bella and I had been children we were always together to celebrate my birthday as well as Bella's and Em's. I couldn't wait to see everyone faces when I knocked on the door and my only hope was that Bella would be the one to answer the door because I wanted to see her eyes first before anyone else. I know that they'll be together because mama would want it that way. _

_I wonder what I will do with my love while I'm home, I know that I want to marry her and I wonder if she will agree to do it now. I knew that I also want to try and get some work done on the house as well as make a gazebo for my darlin and a swing for her and our children'. _

_I can't wait for this war to be over, then I wouldn't have to spend my nights alone, I would get to spend them with my Darlin'. Again I wonder what she's up to. I hope that she is gettin' some sleep and I also hope that she moved back in with her parents because I wouldn't want anythin' to happen to her while I wasn't there. I know that it will be hard at the end of my furlong to leave my Darlin' again but I wouldn't give up my furlong for nothin', I need to see her, to have her in my arms again and this will be my chance._

_I know that Jackson is also excited to get his furlong the same time as me, because like me he has been missin' his Elizabeth just as much as I have been missin' my Bella. I have plans on askin' Jackson to be one of my best man when I marry Bella; Em bein' the other. I'm pretty sure that he will agree. He's a good man/friend/soldier and I was glad when we met back in grade school because he turned out to be my other best friend. Jackson has known his Elizabeth almost as long as I've known my Bella and I knew when I first met Elizabeth that she was a prefect match for Jackson and that they will be incredibly happy together and have a long life. _

_Jackson is the best second in command that I could ask for; he is like me in most respects and doesn't need me to tell him what to do. He goes and does it knowin' that I would approve. The other soldiers respect him as much as they respected me. I had no doubt that Jackson was goin' to be made a __Lieutenant Colonel in no time; even if he thinks that he won't be, I'll make sure to put in a good word for him. The top brass have been buggin' me for awhile now to promote someone but I have wanted to weigh my options. I knew that I wanted to say Jackson's name right away but I also knew that I had to make it look like I was consecratin' others but in reality Jackson was the best choice to be promoted. _

_Well the sun is comin' up now and so I've got to stop writin' for now so that I can make sure everythin' is in order, tell the top brass my opinion for the next soldier to be promoted and then head home to see my Darlin'. It's been to long since I've seen her and I can't wait to have her in my arms, feel her lips on mine and smell the sweet scent that is all hers. _

I stood up, put my journal back in my back pocket and then walked over to where Jackson was station while the sun started to rise.

"Its beautiful ain't it" Jackson said lookin' in the direction of the risin' sun while standin' up.

"Yeah but not as beautiful as our women" I replied

"That's for sure"

"Ready to get everythin' in order so we can get the hell outta here?" Jackson asked with a smile on his face

"Ya know it man"

I slapped Jackson on the back and we both walked back towards camp

"Hey man" I said before we go to near the other soldiers

"Yeah?"

"I'm tellin' them to promote ya"

"I had a feelin' that you would"

"Ya deserve it"

"Thanks man" Jackson replied after a few minutes of silence

"Any time. After all I have to make sure that I put someone in charge that can actually get the job done"

We both started laughin' at that. We separated once we were in camp. Jackson makin' his way to his tent and me towards were the top brass was stationed. When I reached them I told them what my answer was and they agreed sayin' that Jackson was the best person to put in charge. They asked me to tell Jackson that they wanted to see him and I told them that I would. The dismissed me then and told me to have a good furlong. I thanked them and then left, headin' to Jackson's tent.

I told him that the top brass was lookin' for him and he winked at me after thankin' me. I just smirked at him and went over to my tent to get things packed up. Once everythin' was packed up and Jackson was back from seein' the top brass and was packed, we started to make our way home. I was so excited that I felt as if I could fly home.

A/N: So here is the second journal entry, hope y'all like it. Its unbetaed because I'm still looking for one so any and all mistakes are mine. *waves* until next time.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: This is the third and last chapter for Jasper's journal entries. I hope y'all have enjoyed them. Beta by: KCLutz4475

JPOV

_Leavin' Bella was heart wrenchin', once my furlong was over. I thought that leavin' her the first time was bad, but this was even worse. I don't know how I was able to walk away from her again. I swear this war is goin' to drive me crazy, I don't know how I'm goin' to get through it. It's night once again and of course I'm on guard with the newly instated__Lieutenant Colonel Jackson not far from me. Jackson is once again playin' his harmonica, but for some reason tonight it's not soothin' me. I have this feelin' that somethin' is gonna happen to me soon, but I just don't know what._

_I haven't told Jackson, because even though I share almost everythin' with him, I can't tell him my feelin's, 'cause he would tell me that it's just all the bloodshed gettin' to me and nothin' will happen to me. I tried to shake the feeling, but it was__to no avail. Nothin' I do, not even writin' in this journal is helpin' me. I don't want to die because I have so much life to live still, but if that's God's will for me to pass now then he knows what's right even if I don't agree with him right now._

_I don't want to leave my Isabella now; we have so much life to live together and so much to give together. I wish I knew what this feelin' was and why now all of a sudden I'm feelin' it, but I have no answers. I don't know if this feelin' of somethin' happenin' to me will be sometime soon or days, weeks or maybe even months from now all I know is that somethin' will happen._

_If I do die and I hope that this journal makes it way back to my family I just want to tell y'all that I love each and everyone one of ya and I'm so thankful that I was able to be your son and I hope that I've made you proud. To Mr. and Mrs. Swan thank you for Isabella, she is a wonderful woman and I'm so lucky that for the short amount of time that I was on this earth, I was the one that she chose to share her love with. To Em I want you to take care of Bella for me, now that I can't. I thank you for bein' one of my closest best friends like a brother to me, ya were.___

_My Darlin' Bella I wrote ya a poem_

_**Forever Love**_

_From the moment I set my eyes on ya darlin',_

_I knew we'd be together forever,_

_One day we'd be together,_

_No more separations._

_I love ya darlin',_

_My forever love._

_The time I left,_

_Was the worst of my life._

_I don't want ya to suffer,_

_No more pain._

_I will see ya again one day,_

_My dearest Bella._

_I love ya darlin',_

_My forever love._

_My darlin' Bella I may not be around,_

_I want ya to know I will always._

_No matter what happens,_

_I want ya to be happy._

_No more pain,_

_No more sorrow._

_I love ya darlin'_

_My forever love._

_My darlin' I know that words alone will not ease your sorrow if somethin' should indeed happen to me, but I want you to know that I'll always be in your heart and watchin' over ya. My love for you does not stop, even if I am dead, for I will love you more then any man ever could. _

_I would write more but this feelin' is makin' it hard to know what else to say. I promise that I will do everythin' in my power to make it back to all y'all. I love each and everyone one of ya and I'm thankful that y'all were in my life._

A/N: Poem is an original by my friend/sister Maggie Williams aka cloemarrie. Thanks sweetie for writing it for me. So the next chapter will be back to Bella and Jasper talking and getting their questions answered. Hope y'all enjoyed this peek into Jasper's journal. *waves* until next time my readers


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I still don't own any of the characters that are in this story, SM does. I only own the plot. Beta by: KCLutz4475

BPOV

I closed Jasper's journal after finishin' the last entry with venomous tears in my eyes that would never fall. I could see the sun risin' out of the window in our room announcin' the start of a new day. I had been readin' it all night, amazed at what was goin' through my Jasper's head while he was away from me. I could feel the love for me pourin' out of the book as well as I could feel the loneliness that Jasper felt. The family had stayed away from our room and just let us be, half way through the night Jasper had me move out of the chair that I was sittin' in and led me over to our bed, where he had me sit in between his legs so that he could wrap his arms around my waist.

It was a great comfort to be in Jasper's arms while readin' his journal. I know that if I were able human tears would have been streamin' down my face. I moved my head so that I was able to look at Jasper.

"Thank you for sharin' this with me Jazz."

"You're more than welcome Darlin." Jasper replied while placin' a kiss on my forehead.

"There is still so much that I want to ask ya Jasper."

"I know there is Darlin' and there are things that I still would like to ask ya, but I think that first we should go for a hunt and then we can ask our questions."

"That sounds good to me Jazz."

Jasper smiled at me and after givin' me a quick kiss, we got off the bed and made our way downstairs to let the others know that we were headin' out. We found them in the livin' room watchin' 'Interview with the Vampire'. When they realized that we were in the room, they paused the movie and turned to look at us.

"We're goin' for a hunt" I said.

"We understand, that must have been emotional for you both" Esme replied.

"It was, yes" Jasper responded.

"We'll see you both when you get back" Carlisle then said.

We nodded to him and then strolled out of the back door and walked hand in hand to the forest edge. As soon as we reached the edge we took off runnin', it felt so good to run after sittin' all night. I know that vampires can't get stiff like humans do for sittin' so long, but it still good to be movin'. We came to a stop in a clearin' and stayed perfectly still listenin' for a heartbeat. It was a few minutes, but soon we heard the _thump, thump, thump_of a couple heartbeats, with a sniff I was able to tell that there were four moose just over the next hill. I told Jasper and he nodded in agreement; we took off like a shot up the hill and as we drew closer to the spot where the moose were I could see they were havin' a drink in the stream. I looked at Jasper and then after he nodded his head, I took off after the moose closest to me. I could hear Jasper followin' me and I had to remind myself that he wasn't goin' to harm me or take away my kill. The moose heard us comin' and started to run in every direction to try and get away from us. I ran ahead of the moose, keepin' him in my sight in the tree tops.

I came to a stop and waited for the moose to come under the tree I was in. A few minutes later the moose passed right under the tree I was in and I leapt down from the branch I was on, onto its back. He ran for a little bit while tryin' to get me off its back. Soon I grew board of the chase so I broke its neck, it collapse to the ground and I sank my teeth into its neck and drank until there was no more blood in its body. I then buried its body and made my way back to where I could smell Jasper waitin' for me.

"Good hunt darlin'?" Jasper asked me as I got closer to him.

"Yeah it was Jazz and yours?" I smiled at him.

"It was good. Now, do ya want to go back to the house to ask the questions that still need to be asked or stay out here?"

"I think it would be best we talk about these things away from the family."

"Alright let's go find a good spot to sit and talk."

"Ok."

I took Jasper's outstretched hand and we started walkin' to find a good place to have our talk at; there weren't many questions that I wanted answers too. The main one bein' if he had sex while with Maria or not; I wasn't sure how I was goin' to react to his answer. We walked in silence, not needin' words to enjoy each other's company. We soon came to a nice spot surrounded by trees, flowers and there was a rock that we both could sit on. Jasper looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I nodded my head in agreement to the spot. We walked over to the rock and sat down. After a few minutes I asked my question.

"Jasper when you were with Maria did you... ever... you know... with her or other women?"

In a very human movement Jasper fidgeted a bit before he answered.

"No, I wasn't with Maria in that way or any woman for that matter. I came close, but it didn't feel right. I was too in love with ya to let our memories and dreams fade; whether ya were alive or not."

I exhaled the breath that I didn't know I was holdin', upon hearin' Jasper's answer. I trusted Jasper, but there was always that naggin' feelin' in the back of my head, once we reconnected.

"Were you ever with anyone darlin'?" Jasper asked me after a few minutes.

"No Jasper."

He sent me his love once he heard my answer, it was like a blanket was bein' wrapped around me. We sat there and asked the other questions that we had for each other and as the sun went down and the moon was comin' up, we decided that it was time to head back to the others. We strolled through the forest, hand and hand, just enjoyin' bein' together in the moonlight. When we were half was to the house, Jasper's phone rang. When he looked at the caller ID a big smile graced his face, he flipped open his phone and said

"Long time brother."

_"Well hello to you to brother."_ I heard the voice on the other line laugh. I knew that it was Peter on the phone with him and I just stood there waitin' patiently with a smile on my face, because of the emotions that Jasper was emanatin'.

"To what do I owe this phone call?"

"_Well Char and I just got back here to the house in Texas and we were wonderin' if ya and your mate wanted to come for a visit?"_

_"_How did you know that I found my Bella after all these years?"

_"I just know shit."_He laughed again and Jasper just shook his head.

"I'll have to talk to Bella to see if she's agreeable or not."

"_Well ask her, I know that she's standin' there with ya."_

Jasper moved his cell so that he was able to talk to me and said, "Wanna go?"

"Sure, I would love to meet the people that saved ya, from the bitch" I replied and Jasper smiled at me.

"Looks like we are comin' brother."

"_Char and I will see ya both in a week."_

"See ya both then. Bye."

"_Bye Jasper and Bella."_

"Bye." I called and then Jasper hung up the phone. He placed a kiss on my lips and then took my hand and we began walkin' again. We were silent for a little while when I broke it. "Jasper"

"Hmm?"

"What does Peter mean, when he says he just knows shit?"

"Well you see Peter has this very weird gift. He gets these feelin' or thoughts when somethin' is gonna happen."

"So he's like Alice then?"

"No. Whereas Alice'sees' what the outcome will be if people follow on a certain path, Peter only gets sorta like flashes of things that are goin' to happen."

"Oh."

"Yeah it's a little confusin' at first but after awhile ya just learn to go with it. Of course sometimes he can be an annoyin' ass with his cryptic half sentences."

"I bet that it can be annoyin."

"Ya know, he told me that one day I was gonna get a blast from my past, but I didn't believe him. I thought that it was just somethin' false that he was pickin' up on, but I guess that he was right seein' as how ya standin' here with me."

"Yeah, I guess he was right" I smiled.

Jasper returned the smile and we continued walkin' back to the house. Once we reached it the others asked if we would share what was in the journal and Jasper agreed. I told them basic info from it and they were all in awe of what Jasper wrote at the time. We then told them that we would be leavin' next week durin' spring break to visit Peter and his mate Charlotte. They were a little sad to know that we would be gone for a week, but they also knew that there will always be times where not everyone will be under the same roof at the same time. We talked for the remainder of the night and as the sun rose we got ready to go to school.

Before long it was Spring Break and Jazz and I was gettin' ready to leave to visit Peter and Char. We had talked about runnin' there, but we decided against that and opted to drive instead. We weren't takin' much with us, just a suitcase each, of clothes. Alice was scandalized that I wasn't takin' more, she said that as a woman I should have at least three suitcases, one alone for shoes but what Alice fails to realize and I have to constantly remind her is that I'm nothin' like her. Where she needs almost a whole car's trunk alone for all her suitcases I'm perfectly happy with the one. She tried to protest and I guess that Rose was noticin' that I was about to lose my temper, because she stepped in and told Alice to leave me alone. Alice huffed, but agreed; I thanked Rose and then went back to takin' my suitcase to the car. Jasper was already there makin' sure that we had money for gas and somethin' else that he was hidin' from me, I tried to see what the thing was, but he was quicker than me in hidin' the box.

Once everythin' was ready we said our goodbyes to our family and got in the car and drove off to begin our trek to Texas. We had music playin' and we did a lot of talkin' and sightseein'. It was fun and a lot of things had changed since the last time I was headin' towards Texas. We only had to stop a couple of times to hunt and gas up the car. Before long we were nearin' Texas and I was gettin' excited to finally meet the people that had saved my Jasper. Jasper asked me about the change of my emotions and when I told him why I was feelin' what I was feelin' a big smile broke out over his face and he told me that Peter and Char were goin' to love me.

By set of sun on the third night, we entered Texas and Jasper told me that it wasn't long now till we would be stoppin'. It was a silent drive from when we entered Texas till Jasper took a sharp left turn and we started bouncin' down a gravel driveway; it wasn't an uncomfortable silence though. Soon the gravel road opened up to lots of green acres upon which a beautiful 2 story log cabin sat. There was a huge porch with some rockin' chairs, a stone chimney. There were two rooms upstairs that faced the driveway and there were windows on both sides of the front door.

We pulled to a stop and the front door opened and out stepped Peter and Charlotte. Peter was as tall as Jasper and had a build similar to Em's; he had short dirty blond hair and vivid red eyes. Charlotte was as tall as me with wavy blond hair that went past her waist; her eyes were also a vivid red which gave me the impression that they both had hunted recently. They had matchin' smiles gracin' their faces as soon as we stepped out of the car. They walked down the stairs and met us halfway, Jasper introduced me and they told me that it was a pleasure to finally meet the woman that had stolen Jasper's heart. I knew that if I was still human I would have been blushin'.

They invited us in and the inside was just as beautiful as the outside. It was an open concept first floor, everythin' flowed into each other. The walls were all a dark wood and there were pictures on the walls of different scenery; trees, flowers, bushes. The dinnin' room table was a lighter shade of the walls and there was enough chairs around it to hold all of the Cullen's, Em and I as well as Peter and Char. The livin' room had comfy lookin' couches and chairs in a beige color, there was also a big screen TV and a gamin' system that I knew Em would love. I could see large speakers which I could tell were for surround sound. There was also a DVD player, CD player and a record player. I guessed that the long closed double doors cabin under the entertainment center housed all of the games, DVDs, CDs and records.

They invited us to have a seat on one of the couches and then asked me if I would share my history with them. I agreed and then launched into my tale. I told them everythin' from wakin' up to findin' Jasper again. They were amazed that I was turned not long after Jasper was and with my brother none the less. I then asked them to tell me about their time after Jasper left them; they told me all that they had seen and did and I was intrigued about the nomadic life that they lead.

We talked for a bit more and then Char asked if we would like to see our room. We agreed and they led us upstairs to one of the rooms that faced the driveway, they said that they will let us get settled. We thanked them and asked if the wildlife was good around here, they said that it was and we told them that we would most likely go out for a hunt. They told us to enjoy and that they would see us in the mornin'. We thanked them again and bade them a good night, once we put our clothes in the dresser we headed out for our hunt. When we got back we cleaned up and then just enjoyed spendin' time with each other and no family around. It was peaceful until Peter and Char started makin' love loudly. I just rolled my eyes and snuggled in closer to Jasper's side and pulled up my shield and then Jasper sent out relaxin' waves and we settled into a relaxed state.

A/N: So there you have it, the major question that Bella had, has finally been answered and now she has nothin' to worry 'bout. Jasper still has his big question to ask and don't worry he will be asking it soon. Picture of Peter and Char's home can be found on my blog where you can find a lot of pics for not only this story but others as well. My friend/sister Maggie who wrote the poem last chapter, just recently made me a video for this story, it's on my blog as well or you can copy and paste this link, just remember to take out the spaces: http:/ www. youtube. com / watch?v=oFECHcItAn8&feature = share so until next time *waves*


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: I still own absolutely nothing, the characters all belong to SM. I only own the plot. Beta by: KCLutz4475

JPOV

Our vacation was slowly comin' to a close and Bella absolutely loved Peter and Char and they loved her as well. I was ecstatic that they all got along on the first day; it was like they knew each other all their lives. Char enjoyed havin' another woman around the house, whenever Peter and I started to wrestle or play videogames Char and Bella would go out for the day and leave us men to do what we wanted. I could tell that Char looked at Bella as a sister and Bella saw Char the same way. One day while the ladies were out shoppin', Peter cornered me and asked me when I was goin' to propose to Bella again. I told him that I was waitin' for the perfect time, he snorted in laughter and called me a wuss and told me that he knew I've been carryin' a new engagement ring around with me since I got here. I hung my head and told them that he was right I was actin' like a wuss for not comin' out and askin' her already.

He just smirked at me and asked why I got a new ring; I told him that all though she still wore her original one I wanted to get one that represented our new lives. He asked to see it and so I listened to make sure that I didn't hear Char's car comin' up the drive and then I pulled out the box and opened it up, revealin' a stunnin' diamond and sapphire platinum ring. It was three stones, the diamond was in the middle and on either side of it were the two sapphires. There were also three smaller diamonds after the sapphire ones. Peter whistled when he saw it. He told me that it was a pretty ring and that Bella would love it, I nodded my head and took the box back from him and placed it back in my pocket.

I decided to go for a quick hunt before the ladies got back and that's when I found it. It was the old oak tree that Bella and I had carved our initials in back when we were still kids. I couldn't believe that Peter's house was not too far from where Bella and I grew up. I knew that this was the place that I would be askin' her to marry me again. I raced back to the house and hoped like hell that the women weren't back so that I could have Peter help me to plan everythin'.

I burst through the door and Peter jumped up from his chair and crouched down, lettin' out a growl. When he saw that it was me and there was no danger he got up out of his crouch and said "What the fuck man?"

"Sorry, but I wanted to make sure that I got back here before the women, I need ya help."

"And ya couldn't come in like a normal person?"

"Sorry wasn't thinkin."

"That much is apparent." He said while rollin' his eyes.

"Are ya gonna help me or not?"

"Ya haven't even told me what ya wanted me to do yet."

I told him my plans and he agreed to help me out. We were still talkin' when the ladies got home, we broke off mid sentence and Bella gave me a funny look, but said nothin'. For the next couple of days whenever we had the chance we worked on the plans. A couple of times Bella came in to wherever we were and we had to hide whatever we were workin' on at the time. I decided that I would propose to Bella on our last night here, just as the sun was settin'. I was goin' to ask Bella to go for a walk with me and that's when Peter was goin' to fill in Char on what was goin' on. Once Char was filled in, they were goin' to the spot and sett it up, makin' sure that it was all ready for when we got there.

Finally the day arrived and I was a nervous wreck, if I was human my heart would have been racin' and my palms would have been sweaty. I though I hid it from Bella but I think that she knew somethin' was up. She didn't say anythin'; she just went about packin' all our stuff. When the sun started to go down, I asked Bella to go for a walk and she agreed. I winked at Peter behind Bella's back and he nodded in return, I took Bella's hand and we walked towards the woods. I asked her how she enjoyed the visit here, and she told me that she had fun bein' here and that she was sad to leave. I told her that we would come back and her mood picked up then. She told me that she thought the nomadic life was interestin' and that she wanted to try it out. I asked her if her and Em had not done it while travlin' before meetin' the Cullens and she said no they always lived in towns. When I asked her how they managed that she told me that her and Em never had problems with their bloodlust.

I told Bella that if she liked, this summer we would travel like nomads, she was excited by this and in an Alice like fashion she clapped her hands together. I just chuckled at her response and took her hand again. I asked her if she would like to go for a quick hunt, she agreed and so we took off in search of somethin' to eat. We found a couple of deer and took them down together, sharin' the blood. Our lust was increased and I pushed her up against the nearest tree and kissed her soundlessly, glad that we didn't have to break for air. I wanted to take her and claim her with the mate's mark, but I knew that it wasn't the way I wanted this to go. I didn't want our first time to be out in the woods up against a tree. That would be later on after the first time. I pulled back from the kiss and leaned my forehead against Bella's and even though we didn't need to breath our chests were still risin' and fallin' as if we just ran a marathon.

She looked at me and I could detect some disappointment comin' from her, I raised my eyebrow and she sighed and then said, "Jasper I've waited so long for ya to take me and make me yours in every way possible, but every time I think we are comin' close to crossin' that line, you stop. Don't ya want me?" Her eyes were filled with venom tears and I internally kicked myself for never explainin' my reasonin'.

I let out a deep sigh and then said, "It isn't that I don't want ya, because believe me, I want to devour every inch of ya, but I'm taken my time cause we never really discussed crossin' that line. In my head, I have this thought that even though the times have changed that ya still want to wait till we are married to make love."

"Oh Jasper, I'm sorry for jumpin' to conclusions. I know that we've never talked about it and for that I'm sorry. I want to go all the way with ya as well, but I guess that, findin' ya after all these years I was more concerned with reconnectin' with ya and not about havin' sex."

"Darlin', don't be sorry. I understand and ya are right when I found ya again I was only concerned with reconnectin' with ya as well."

She smiled and then placed a kiss on my lips. She asked if I wanted to finish our walk and I told her that I did. We held hands and began to walk, but this time I was directin' her in the direction of the tree. A few minutes later we were gettin' close to the tree and I told her to close her eyes, because I had a surprise for her. Her curiosity spiked, but she did as I asked with no questions. I led her to the tree, Peter and Char did an amazin' job settin' the area up with strings of twinklin' lights wrapped around tree trunks. I placed Bella beside our old tree, next to the carvin' and then I got down on one knee, still holdin' her hand and told her to open her eyes. When she did what I asked, she gasped at the sight of me on my knee and venomous tears started to pool in her eyes again.

I smiled up at her and began my proposal. "When we first met, I knew that ya were the girl for me. I watched ya grow from a cute little girl, into an amazin' and beautiful woman who I love more every day. When I signed up to join the civil war, I thought that it would make you love me more for I was goin' to be a soldier and possibly a hero, but what I didn't know was that ya love me as much as I love you. That day that I was turned all I did was wish for death, but I also wanted to live, because I didn't want ya to be alone. When we found each other again, I felt that I truly started to live this second life that I was given. With you by my side darlin', I know that I can do anythin'. I have loved you for what feels like a thousand years and I'll love ya for a thousand more. Isabella Swan, will you make me the happiest man and do me the honor of becomin' my wife?" I could see that if she was still human tears would be streamin' down her face.

"Jasper, when you went away I died every day, waitin' for you to return. I just went through life with no emotions. Sorrow was my constant companion until the time that I found you again. I as well have loved you for what feels like a thousand years and I will love you for a thousand more. Even though you were thought of as dead, I believed that I would find you again somehow and now time has brought your heart to me. When I saw you standin' in the Cullen's livin' room months ago, so much joy and happiness flooded me, I couldn't believe that you were standin' there lookin' as handsome as ever. Of course I will make you the happiest man on this earth and marry you."

I beamed upon hearin' her response I jumped up and pulled the ring out of the box and placed it on her finger. She looked at me and asked about the new ring and I explained my reasonin', she nodded her head and looked at the ring that I had just placed on her finger. Her emotions were nothin' but happiness.

She then looked around the area that we were standin' in, she smiled at Peter and Char and when her eyes went to the tree she was standin' next to, she started at it and then recognition dawn on her face when she saw our initials carved in the tree. "Jasper... is this... real?"

"Yeah it is darlin', I didn't know how close Peter and Char was to the old place till I came across it on a hunt a couple days ago."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it. Do you know if all the houses are still standin'?"

"No I didn't go any farther than here, as soon as I saw it, I wanted to get back before y'all did and start to plan everythin'."

"Can we go and see?"

"Of course" Peter, Char, Bella and I took off at a run and it wasn't long till we came to the old houses. I was amazed that they were still here. We couldn't detect any human scents around so we walked to the house that would have been Bella and mine's first. I broke the handle on the door and we entered the house. Everythin' still looked the same; the only difference was the years of dust that was piled up on all the surfaces and the occasional thing that would need to be replaced because the years and the weather had did a number on the house in some spots.

Bella pointed out that old Doc Cooper's wife's dress was still hangin' in the same place that she left it on the day that she and Em got turned. We looked around a bit more and then left, to go look at the other houses. We could tell that no one had lived in the houses for a couple of years. The furniture and all the fixin's were still the ones that were here when we were children. It was amazin' to see that nothin' had changed in all these years.

We left in search of our parents headstones and found them not far from ours. Both our parents had lived long lives from the markin's on the headstones, and we were glad for that even though we knew that their hearts were broken for havin' not only me bein' dead, but Bella and Em as well. Bella placed some wild flowers on both my mama's grave as well as her mama's and then she talked to them for awhile.

Soon we left to go back to Peter and Char's house and it was then that Bella asked if there was any way to find out who owns the houses now and if we would be able to buy them and fix them up. I told her that I would find out all the information that I could and if it were possible, I would buy all three and we would fix them up and have a place to stay the next time we came for a visit. She beamed and thanked me, I told her that it wasn't necessary to thank me that I would have done it anyways and she just smiled. It was too late to get in contact with J. Jenks, but come mornin' I was goin' to be on his ass to have him find out all the info that I needed. I would make sure that he was quick on gettin' this done, because I wanted it to be a weddin' present for Bella.

A/N: So now Jasper has finally asked his big question. I hope that y'all like how I wrote it. Some of Jasper and Bella's wedding proposals were taken from the song "A Thousand Years" which is what this story is based on. Up next the wedding planning and getting the situation with their old houses straighten out. *waves* until next time. P.s. Titanic in 3D is amazing, it's almost like you are there on the ship.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I own nothing still, that all belongs to SM.

Beta by: KCLutz4475

BPOV

As soon as we arrived home everyone was congratulatin' us on our impendin' nuptials. I couldn't wait to finally become Mrs. Jasper Whitlock, though I was sad that my father wouldn't be walkin' me down the aisle. I had a fear that somethin' terrible was goin' to happen to interrupt our weddin', but Alice promised me that she saw nothin' comin' and that Jasper and my weddin' would be beautiful.

Jasper and I decided to wait until the summer so that we could have a beautiful summer weddin'. Alice wanted to plan our whole weddin', but I told her that she could assist me, she was pleased with that and started buyin' all the weddin' magazines that she could get her little pixie hands on.

There were tons of dresses to choose from some that Ali like, others that Rose preferred and there were a few that Esme liked, but none of them screamed 'me'. I wanted a white dress as is tradition, but I wanted it to be summery, pretty and looked like I wasn't tryin' too hard. I was flippin' through one of the many new mags that Ali had gotten, when I found the perfect dress for me. It was strapless, floor length and there's a gold pattern and a gold sash right under the bust. I screamed when I found it and Ali, Rose and Esme all came runnin' to see what was wrong. When I showed them the dressed they all gushed at how beautiful I would look in it. I ordered the dress and then began my hunt for the shoes; I had already decided that I wanted a tiara instead of a veil.

I didn't want heels so I opted for a pair of white sandals that had rhinestones on the straps and a rhinestone flower pattern where the straps meet. They were really cute. The tiara that I picked was simple with flower designs on it. I was happy that I was able to find the perfect things for my weddin' day. Once I had my dress and accessories picked out, Ali asked me what kind of flowers I wanted to carry, I told her that I wanted a bouquet of white roses with blue hydrangea heads. She told me that she would start phonin' the florist shops to see who would have what I was lookin' for. The flowers that I picked for Ali, Rose and Char were goin' to be blue hydrangeas with a white ribbon wrapped around the stems.

While Ali' was lookin' for our flowers, I went back lookin' for the bridesmaid dresses. I had already asked Ali, Rose and Char to be my bridesmaids, they all agreed. I wanted the dresses to be the same color. The dress that I ended up pickin' for them was a strapless, floor length, red rose color with a beaded belt under the bust. I also picked a pair of red, suede, pumps for them to wear.

Jasper and I talked about where we wanted to get married and we agreed to get married back in Texas; on the grounds where our human houses are at. It would be a full circle moment for us once we said "I do". We had talked about gettin' married in the church that we originally had planned for our weddin', but we opted out of that.

Jasper found out that the state owned our houses and there were back taxes that needed to be paid on it before Jasper and I were able to own it. Jasper paid and then hired some contractors to have the places fixed up; I was so excited. There were some weekends that Jasper had to run down to Texas to check on the process of the reconstruction and also to make sure that the workers were doin' their jobs. I wanted to go with him, but he told me that he wanted to keep everythin' a surprise for me. I pouted and begged, but it was no use he wouldn't relent. I was glad that it wasn't often that he had to go, because the suspense was killin' me. I tried to get Ali or Edward to give me a description of the houses, but they wouldn't say a word either.

A month before the end of the school year, the Cullen's cousins came for a visit. There were seven of them, Carmen and her mate Eleazar, Irina and her mate Laurent, Kate and her mate Garrett and Tanya. They all lived in Alaska and were the third largest coven after us and the Volturi. They were all great people and I felt bad for Tanya who had yet to meet her mate; we all got along well. They were pleased to hear that Jasper had found his mate. Em and I told them our story and they, like the Cullen's, were surprised when they found out that Em and I were turned at the same time. They stayed for a week and by the end I felt as if I knew them all my vampire life. Jasper and I invited them to the weddin' and they agreed.

One afternoon when Carlisle had a rare day off, I went to his study and knocked on his door "Come in Bella," he called so I turned the knob and entered. He was sitting on his chair behind his desk doin' some writin'. He looked up at me and smiled while placin' his pen on top of his pad of paper and gestured for me to take a seat. Once I sat down he said, "So my dear what can I do for you?"

"Well I was wonderin', if you would walk me down the aisle?"

"I would be honored to my dear; nothing would give me a greater pleasure than walking you down the aisle."

"Thank you so much Carlisle, I'm glad that you will do this for me."

"My dear, you are my daughter and it's my job to give you away." I beamed upon hearin' that, I got up from my chair and went over to give him a hug. He placed a kiss on my cheek. We talked for a bit more and then I left so that he could get back to his work.

I went to Jasper and my room and got out my notebook which had all the weddin' details in it. I checked off _talk to Carlisle about walkin' me down the aisle_. I looked over my list to see what still needed to be done. I had to make sure that Jasper, Em and Edward all had their outfits picked out. I also needed to pick out a song with Jasper that would be for our first dance as Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock. I was glad that we didn't have to find a minister, because Peter had that covered and also we didn't need to find someone to play the piano, because that was Esme's job.

Once I finished goin' over my list, I went to find Jasper so that we could get the last things on the list done. I found him in the library readin' a book, I walked over and Jasper put his book aside, so that I could sit on his laps. "Ok Jasper, do you, Em and Edward have what you are wearin' all picked out?"

"Yes darlin' all of us have decided on dark jeans. I picked a white button up to pair with my jeans, Em picked a dark blue and Edward picked black."

"Will any of ya be wearin' a tie?"

"We thought that it would look more casual without it darlin'."

"Your right Jasper," I said smilin'.

"So darlin', what else is there to do?"

"You and I need to pick a song for us to dance to once we are officially man and wife."

"Alright then darlin' do you have any songs picked out?"

"I do, they are in my notebook."

"Well then let's go and see what ya have down." I stood up and then Jasper took my hand and we walked back to our bedroom.

I took out my notebook again and showed the songs that I had already picked, I also had the lyrics written down so that Jasper could get an idea of what the songs were about. "That one," Jasper said pointin' to the song 'A Thousand Years' by Christina Perri.

"Awesome, that's one of my favorites on the list."

"I think that it describes our love perfectly darlin'."

"As do I." Jasper placed a kiss on my lips and then we just lay in the bed cuddlin'.

Soon school was done for the summer and we were packin' to leave for Texas. The houses were ready and I had my weddin' dress, the bridesmaid dresses and what the guys would be wearin' in a separate suitcase with all of the accessories. The florist in Texas promised to have the bouquets ready for us in time for the weddin', which was a couple of days after we arrived. I was so excited that soon I would be tied to Jasper in every way possible.

Once everythin' was packed, we all piled into the cars and drove to Texas. The Denali's would be arrivin' the day after we got there, and then it was goin' to be the big day. Once we arrived, Peter and Char greeted us all and showed everyone to their rooms. We all had a hunt and then sat together and talked while we waited for the Denali's to arrive.

The Denali's arrived just as the sun was risin', they greeted us all and then Char showed them to their rooms. Once they were settled, Peter and Char got more acquainted with the Denali's.

Come afternoon I was told that all the ladies were takin' me out, for my bachelorette party. I was surprised that they were takin' me out, I wasn't sure where they were takin' me, but I couldn't wait to see what they had cooked up. We got changed and then we drove into town and went to a karaoke bar, we spent a fun couple of hours there. Next we went to a club and danced until the early morin'. Just as the sun was startin' to rise, we made it back to Peter and Char's house, but instead of goin' inside they led me passed the house and over to a tent that was set up halfway between Char's house and my human houses. I asked them what was goin' on and they said that I didn't get to spend time with Jasper and that this was the best thing to do so that it wouldn't be such a long walk when it was time for the weddin'. It made sense since it was a long walk between both houses, well not when you run, but I didn't want to run in my weddin' dress.

They told me about their weddin's, they ranged from the extreme over the top; Ali and Edward's first weddin' to a simple beach weddin'; which was Kate and Garrett. Ali, Rose and Esme left at one point to make sure that the area was ready. They left Char to keep my company and to make sure that I didn't sneak a peak of the area before time. Soon it was time to start gettin' ready, we all ran back to the house so that we could get showered and ready.

Once we were all dressed we went back to the tent to await Carlisle's arrival. We didn't have to wait long before Carlisle was peakin' around the flap of the tent tellin' us that it was time. Ali, Rose, Char and Esme all gave me hugs and a kiss on the cheek; they told me that they loved me and that they were so excited for me, then they exited the tent one by one. Carlisle walked in and asked if I was ready, I told him that I was, he held out his arm and I linked mine through it and then we walked out of the tent.

I noticed that Esme was already gone and that Ali, Rose and Char were all standin' in wait, Carlisle and I went to stand behind them. Soon I heard music begin and then Ali, Rose and Char began to walk towards where I knew that my Jasper was waitin' for me, a few minutes later the music changed to the weddin' march. Carlisle squeezed my hand and then we began to walk to the area. The area was set up right in the middle of all three houses and it was beautiful. There were chairs set up for the family to sit on, the fairy lights that Jasper used to propose to me were in use again and there were flower petals linin' my path to Jasper. I wanted to race down the aisle to get to Jasper faster, but Carlisle kept a good hold on me, I was glad that the aisle wasn't a long one and before long I had reached Jasper. He smiled when he saw me which I returned and then Peter spoke, "We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Jasper Whitlock and Isabella Swan. Who gives this woman to this man?"

"I do." Carlisle said and then placed my hand in Jasper's and placed a kiss on my cheek before he went to sit next to Esme.

I turned to face Jasper and waited for Peter to continue. "Marriage is an honorable and solemn estate and therefore is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. If there is anyone here that knows that these two people should not be joined together then let them speak now or forever hold their peace." I looked at my family and I knew that no one would object, because they were all too happy that this day had finally come.

"Good." Peter continued a few minutes later "Let's continue, I need the rings please."

Rose stepped around me and handed Peter the rings, he then turned to me, and handed me Jasper's simple gold band and said, "Repeat after me. I, Isabella Swan, take you, Jasper Whitlock, to be my lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold for all eternity. I promise to love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward."

"I, Isabella Swan, take you, Jasper Whitlock, to be my lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold for all eternity. I promise to love, honor, comfort, and cherish you from this day forward." I slid the ring onto his finger.

Peter then turned to Jasper, handed him my ring and said, "Jasper please repeat what I just said, but change the names."

Jasper nodded his head and then turned to me, "I, Jasper Whitlock, take you, Isabella Swan, to be my lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold for all eternity. I promise to love, honor, comfort, and cherish you from this day forward." He slid the platinum double heart ring onto my finger.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Peter said

Jasper smiled at me and then moved closer to me, his lips touched mine in a soft kiss filled with all his love for me. The crowd erupted into applause; we broke apart and turned to face them with smiles on our faces. They stood up and kept clappin' and then one by one came to congratulate us. We then made our way over to the dance floor and 'A Thousand Years' started to play, Jasper spun me out onto the dance floor and we began to dance.

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

When the song ended, Jasper placed a kiss on my lips and then the music changed to somethin' more upbeat and the rest of the family came out to join us on the dance floor. I danced with Edward, Em, Carlisle, Eleazar, Garrett and Laurent, but I felt the most happy in Jasper's arms.

"Well darlin' are ya happy?" Jasper asked when I was back in his arms again.

"Of course I am Jasper. I couldn't be happier."

"I know that it took us a long time for us to get here."

"I don't care how long it's taken us, Jasper. I'm just glad that we've finally gotten here."

He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips and then pulled me closer to him. We danced all night and into the mornin', Jasper and I then went back to the house so that we could pack for our honeymoon. I wasn't sure where Jasper was takin' me, he told me that it was a surprise, but I would enjoy it. I was excited to finally begin our lives as man and wife and couldn't wait to see what life brought us next.

A/N: So there you have it, the wedding and the last chapter of this story. I want to thank all of you for being on this ride with me, for all the likes, comments, reviews and favorite story alerts. I hope y'all enjoy all my other stories to come. Also I've been nominated in 3 The Wordsmith Awards categories, Best Beta, Best Jasper; for this story and also Best Non-Canon for this story as well, not sure if I will win because there are a lot of other great stories/beta's that have been nominated, I'm just pleased to be there *waves* until next time.


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